10Notes

The Rats Nest

2009-05-27T13:49:00.005+02:00

I live with two rats. Seriously. These two are sooooo in love with cutting up paper into tiny pieces and scribbling on it. These snippets of paper are everywhere! Especially around daughter's chair, it looks like the nest my pet rat used to make if I gave him a piece of old newspaper.
The toys hardly get touched, because all they do is scribble, draw, cut and use glue or cellotape to make "presents". It's really cute and drives me mad at the same time.
Son will shout out: "I'm writing my name!" and then use the pen as if it's a brush, strokes here and there. Daughter is more into drawing actual things.
These pieces I saved from the floor and took a picture, that way I don't have to save everything. I'm thinking of uploading them and making a photobook from her art when I have a lot. Looking at the pieces, it was obviously about clowns that day. :-)

The Baby Talk

2009-05-26T13:25:00.004+02:00

I'm getting really big and time is going by really fast. In 7 weeks the baby can be born safely at home. Here in Holland, they let you do a homebirth if all is well and you're 37 weeks pregnant up until 42 weeks. So far, we haven't prepared much besides moving the kids into a bunkbed so the baby can have son's bed and sort out a few clothes. We still have to figure out a name, get all the things needed for a homebirth, pick out birth announcements (I know this is not common but here it is, you order them in advance and let the printer who does them know when the baby was born and what his/her name(s) is. Usually you send these out to everybody you find important enough to share it with in the week after the birth), set up bed so baby can sleep in it safely, take son's clothes out to a new (still to be found) spot and put baby's in and put our bed on something -we've used crates before and we will this time- so it's higher for the midwife and nurse during birth and after. Did you know we get help from a nurse in the week after the baby's born? It's a special nurse who knows all about babies, post-partum moms and breastfeeding (although some still have a lot to learn about that). They also help out around the house a little bit or do a load of laundry. It's really wonderful to have that, but also somewhat weird to have a stranger load your washer or change your bedsheets. This nurse stays every day for 3 hours until 7 days after the birth. If there are medical reasons she can stay longer, I believe up to 5 or even 7 hours a day. They tell you they're also there to sort of take your place, but it's not their job to take care of older kids in the family. Strange, eh? When son was born they didn't even fix daughter a drink in all of that week. I understand not changing poopy diapers on a toddler, but not even a glass of juice for a -then- 20 month old?
So, there is still a lot to do but I guess I'm sort of in denial about it. :-)
A few weeks ago a baby was born with one of our neighbours and I made them a really simple and quick gift. I think it took me about 30 mins from start to finish, quicker than going to the store and buying something. It's this:

They are the Bitty Booties by the lovely Heather Bailey, made from a felted sweater (unknowingly) donated by husband. I used the newborn 0-3 months pattern and they fitted a newborn (average size baby) perfectly. And the booties were so cute I almost couldn't part with them, so of course now I have to make some more for our own sprout.
I try to be cool, but boy, those hormones! ;-)

The Loot

2009-05-02T12:20:00.003+02:00

It was a great day, with beautiful weather! Of course it turned into a nightmare for people in Apeldoorn, where some idiot drove his car through a crowd of people, killing 6 and himself in an attempt to hit the bus the Royal Family was in.
But we didn't know any of this until late that afternoon when the paper came. We walked around looking for bargains! My pregnancy brain made me forget to take pictures, sorry. Just imagine long road with a grassy area in the middle and people sitting on it with a blanket and on it their stuff to sell, and lots of people walking by and buying things. Also people sitting on the sidewalk with blankets and rugs full of stuff. It made me smile thinking what it must be like seeing all that for my kids, they stayed home in the morning with their grandparents, but came with us in the afternoon. Daughter only bought two small things, I think coming with us to lots of flea markets has made her picky about what she likes.
So what did we buy? Not a lot, actually. Perhaps the Big Recession made people leave their best stuff at home, or perhaps we are such regular thrifters we've "seen it all" and only buy what we feel is a really good deal or hard to find. We hoped to find daughter a nice pair of shoes she can wear for playing outside and sandals and a summer coat for son, but none of that. I got offered numerous baby items, since people spotted my belly and no other kids they assumed I need things like that, lol.
We bought:
- 3 Nintendo games (kids) for Gamecube (to play on the Wii) 1 euro each
- a tiny babysuit (couldn't resist it since it was so cute) for 1,50
- Tomy Hide 'n Squeek Egg Sorting game also 1,50
- a playset with icecreams, cones and a scoop for 75 cents (a HUGE hit with the kids!)
- a Christmas book I've been wanting for a long time but thought too pricey new, 1 euro
- two Brum pj's and a Brum playcar for 4 euros all together
- a wooden clown-shaped music box for the new baby, sounds scary but it's actually a gentle looking clown :-) 1,50 euros

I think that's about it. Once the kids were in bed at night, we couldn't resist and husband and I took turns doing some trash picking, I found some clothes I liked, including a really really cool Hawaii shirt for son and some nice trousers I actually still fit with this belly, all for free! It's sort of funny digging through piles that you know will be picked up by the garbage truck as soon as they come with lots of other people, all smiling at each other but not really talking. I can sense they're all just as excited as I am looking through stuff that's all free. Funny!

The Giant Flea Market

2009-04-29T12:26:00.004+02:00

I'm so excited about tomorrow! On the 30th of April, our country celebrates the Queen's birthday. There are festivities everywhere, but the biggest thing is the thrifting. The whole city turns into a giant outdoor flea market, everybody's allowed to sell their stuff on the street. Some parts are especially for kids (naturally they sell their toys mostly), but it's totally random otherwise. I think I've done my best buys on Queen's Day.
And even better is the end of the afternoon, when lots and lots of sellers just basically walk away from their stuff to go partying and everything is snatched up by the uber-frugal (that would be us, lol) because it's either take home or the garbagetrucks, who work overtime that day. Last year husband was just in front of the truck and managed to rescue lots of things before he called it quits.
We've been trying to get some change everytime we can, we need lots of coins for tomorrow! And daughter's been talking about what she'll be looking for or even possibly selling all week. The weather forecast seems pretty good, so that's wonderful.
I'll try to take some shots with my phone, but usually it's not great quality on my old thing. Wish me luck!

The Question

2009-04-20T12:51:00.002+02:00

I have a question that's on my mind a lot. The question is this:
If you need inspiration and motivation for something almost every day, is it really you, or does it mean it doesn't come naturally for you and so it's better to leave it?

I think this problem is especially hard when you're a scanner like me. In case you don't know what a scanner is, please check here. You want to do certain things a certain way, and then the next day you've forgotten all about it, and you're back into old habits or just making up as you go along. Like parenting, or baking/cooking, dressing in a certain style.
As I have found no answer to the question above, I'm curious to read who has. :-)

The Wind of Change

2009-04-07T13:08:00.002+02:00

Although I try to live in the moment and enjoy it as much as I can, I also feel the wind of change is coming. In a few weeks, daughter will turn 4 and from then on she will be going to kindergarten 5 days a week. It will be a lot for her at first, because it's going to be long days and every day too. But she can come home for lunch every day and the school is within walking distance so we're back and forth really quickly. Also I'm hoping she'll find a nice friend, because we don't know many kids her age in our neighbourhood and I think she'd enjoy it.
In August after the summer vacation, son will start the same preschool daughter goes to now 3 mornings a week (by the way, over here you have preschool from 2,5 until 4 and then move on to kindergarten from age 4 till 6). And of course the baby will arrive somewhere early August. I'll be with just the baby at home 3 mornings a week, wow! Kind of looking forward to that, actually. So in 4 months time, my life during the week will be completely different from now.
When your first child is born, people who are older or have older children, tell you to enjoy it because time goes by so fast. You wonder why they all tell you this, of course you stare at baby all day and enjoy it! Now looking at daughter who will start her schoolcareer (although playful for the first two years) soon I realize how true this is. Sometimes the days -and nights- are long, but the years go fast.
I used to not like change because I was afraid of it (control issues, I know) but as I've gotten older I really like it. I've realized in the past years I get bored really quickly and what better way to relieve boredom than making some changes? I'm still not good at changes, but I embrace it and look forward to it with a little bit of fear mixed in. I'm ready for the new challenge!

The Mouse Park

2009-04-06T13:13:00.003+02:00

We went to a certain theme park near Paris last week. You know, the mouse and his friends. I really like theme parks, and this one was the best I've ever been to. Unfortunately you can't get into the rollercoasters when you're pregnant, so I had to skip that, but I still had a really good time taking it all in. The kids were exhausted (and so were we!) when we got home after four days, it took them two days to process it all and get -somewhat- back to normal.
Other than feeling the magic, I had a hard time with the money issue. It's all so expensive there! The food, the toys, the clothes. I tried not to, but I cringed a few times when I had to hand over many euros for something that's a lot cheaper in the store (like B*n & J*erry's icecream, 2,60 euros for one scoop!). And it was very difficult (ok, make that impossible) explaining to a 3 and 2 year old all the shops sell the same things and it's really best to wait and choose when you're sure of what you like to get. We had to talk about buying and waiting a LOT, but with one balloon, a Minnie Mouse fake cellphone, a dress-up Minnie set and a stuffed Mickey I think we did ok.
All in all we had a really good time and I'm glad we took the opportunity to go on this trip. With a new baby on the way we don't want to go away in the summer, so this is it for a long time I suppose!
Thanks for all who came back to my humble spot on the internet, I hope my lack of inspiration is over now. :-)

The Blackout

2009-03-18T13:14:00.003+01:00

I have to admit I'm having a total blogging blackout. I just don't know what to talk about, feel like my opinions on things have slipped away or that it's all too "small" to mention.
How can I talk about how much I hate my hair right now, that I see grey hairs and how it freaks me out? Does it really matter I want to buy dye and color it? What's the use in telling anyone who reads this that I get so frustrated sometimes when everybody's clean, looks nice with combed hair and cute clothes and I was the one who had only 10 minutes to wear yesterdays clothes again and put in contacts while I'd love to wear some makeup and a cute outfit?
Is it important there is no second trimester energy boost so I still feel like sh*t? How much time will it take me to get three kids ready, will I be able to even wear yesterdays clothes or will it be pj's only for me?
I don't take cute pictures or do a zillion projects like certain bloggers (cough -SouleMama- cough). So, I hope I will get through this dryspell and feel inspired again soon.

The Music, Food and Milk Story

2009-03-09T12:52:00.005+01:00

If you think a 34 year old pregnant mother of two under 4 can't rock, think again. Listening to superband The Killers latest cd "Day & Age", I just have to jump around! Luckily both kids like it as well so they do their own jumping and booty shakin', which is incredibly cute. If you don't know them but really love post-punk/'80s New Wave/rock, a little bit of everything really, check them out. From this cd, songs number 2 and 3 are my favorites, especially "Space Man".

And another thing: lately we eat a certain vegetarian burger sometimes, but it's made out of dairy. We always, always buy organic milk because we believe cows should be outside and the non-organic milkcows never see the light of day (or most of them don't) here, so this made our choice for organic milk easy. But these patties are made of milk, and it's not organic. For 1 kilo of this product, 6 liters of milk is needed, so it's kind of wasteful too. I guess this information means we shouldn't buy it, don't you think? We drink approx. 3 litres of milk a week in our family, so just one meal of this burger would mean two weeks of non-organic milk for us. When you really think about it, it can drive you nuts what's in our food. Just a simple jar of pepper/creamsauce alone has 30 ingredients in it. 30! That can't be good. Two weeks ago we bought a jar of pastasauce again for the first time in a looooong time, but the list of ingredients alone made me suspicious and it tasted like sh*t too. Right now, it's impossible for me (and husband) to make everything from scratch, but we try wherever we can. It's good to know what it's in your food, and most of it tastes a whole lot better too!

I just realized while doing dishes I made a silly mistake. Of course we don't eat 1 kilo of that stuff during a meal. One burger is approx 100 grams and we eat two (and share with son, daughter doesn't eat it). So one meal of this product will "cost" 1,2 litres of milk, which is about two days of milk for our family. I'm so bad with numbers!!

The International Women's Day

2009-03-08T10:15:00.003+01:00

Today is International Women's Day! Just to remind us all women have come such a long way but there's still a lot that can be improved. Did you know women are half of the world's populations but do 66% of all the work? And only make 1% of the world's income?
Here in Holland women make 18% less than men for the same level jobs, and do most of the housework and childcare. Facts like this makes you realize men and women are still not equal in the 21st century. I know men can have it difficult too. Like wanting to be home more for their kids, but their work makes it impossible. There is still the assumption if you want to work less (to care for your children), you're not ambitious. It limits chances of promotion.
As a woman, let's think of all those other women on whose shoulders we stand today. I hope my daughter will live to see the day where men and women can all make free choices and have the same chances without being judged on gender.

The Mother's Eye

2009-03-05T12:23:00.005+01:00

Two chubby legs, socks
Slippers far too big
I stare so I will not forget
How much this touches me and how beautiful he is
And how I wish he could see himself
To never forget what he looks like
So that he will know
Even in his darkest hour
How the goodness, the beauty
Is in him and perfect
Has always been there
And I will always see it
All through his future
I hope he knows

The Sisterly Debate

2009-03-02T12:58:00.003+01:00

Last week I was having a discussion with my sister about our current economy. I was debating we should all watch our money, be frugal and spend wisely. It's better that way for people's personal situation and the environment too, I believe.
My sister is fresh out of college and earning her first salary, and really enjoying that. Of course I was in that place once, and I do remember being happy about finally earning some "real" money after being a poor student for so long. Because both husband (then boyfriend) and me were both making money from a full-time job, those were our spending days too. Eating out a lot, ordering in a lot, buying expensive clothes and shoes, seeing movies and going clubbing, it was all part of our daily life and we spent accordingly. I know what it feels like, and I think my sister should enjoy that time in her life too. But the fact of the matter is that this country is going down when it comes to the economy. My sister her contract ends in a few months, and she'll be out of a job then. She believes she will find something new easily because she is educated and young. I applaud her optimism and it's good she sees possibilities, but things might not work out as she expects. Of course she doesn't want to hear it, and if there will be mistakes she will encounter them in her own way, I'm sure. There's no point in warning because she sees things differently and perhaps warning isn't my place to begin with.
But when we kept the discussion on a more neutral subject like the economy in general, we were really on opposite sides in that discussion. She feels people should keep spending, and as much as possible. Her point was the economy will suffer (even more) if everybody kept money in their pockets. I suppose experts can be found that support both of our views, and I think if we all do what feels right to us (so in her case, spending and for us staying frugal) that's most important because it aligns with our beliefs and the way we live.
It's just amazing to me we both grew up in the same family and can see things so differently. She has made it clear in the past she gets really tired of my "eco-preaching" or "lecturing" about meatconsumption, and that's ok. I think she's a capitalist, lol. We both love each other though! And perhaps I had her point of view too at that time in my life, and I've just changed. Maybe there's still hope for her. ;-)

The Messy Day

2009-02-25T21:24:00.010+01:00

I took a few random shots today to show you our house is usually a mess during the day. :-) Sorry about the flash used, but the weather is just so dark right now it's the only way to get a decent shot.

Daughter's bed. No idea why she threw extra blankets and a dustrag (the yellow thing) in there. :-)

Our bed. Although I make the bed when we get up most days, it ends up like this halfway through the day, because there is just no fun like jumping up and down on a big bed, right?

Drawing, writing, it's huge in this house right now. Why my toddlers don't eat the crust of their bread is beyond me.

This is the foil I was talking about. We chose to have banner of it in the middle of the window so people can't really see everything and we still have a bit of privacy.
We kept the curtains for night, the darkening ones. Does this make sense or is this type of window dressing typically Dutch?

One half of the teeny tiny pants I'm crocheting. Working on the second half now, I'm curious to see how it will turn out!

And of course we have to have something nice and sweet in the oven on a grey day like this. A classic apple pie. Delicious!
I'm really a neatfreak inside, so having two small children who mess everything up all the time is sometimes very very hard on me. I have made an effort in the past to stop myself and NOT clean up after them all the time or to comment every time a tub of blocks get dumped, because I realize that ruins all the fun of playing for them. I've become pretty good at ignoring it, but I also ask them to help clean up regularly. And they do, which is great. But boy, two toddlers are messy! :-)

The Wish for Spring

2009-02-23T12:57:00.004+01:00

I wish Spring would come. Every day it's this blah weather with lots of grey and rain. No fun going outside in that, and even indoors everything seems more gloomy and boring. And I don't do well with boring!
This weekend we finally bought new mattresses. We had been looking, testing and discussing for a few months. There are so many choices out there and in equally many prices. Since we also bought a bunkbed for the kids (well, ordered, it takes a whopping 10 weeks before it arrives!) I told husband we had to set a limit and settle for IKEA this time. They might not last us 10 years (of course hopefully they do) but right now they fit our budget. And so we went there, made our choice and my choice was the last mattress in the store. The packaging was ripped and it had a huge (really huge) stain because of it. So, frugal as we are, we asked for a discount and nice as IKEA people are, they took 50% off the price! Yay! That sleeps even better, lol.
We also took down our curtains (the ones for day, the light see-through kind) and put adhesive foil on the windows. Now our neighbours across the street can only see parts of us, because it doesn't cover the whole window. I love how it brings a lot more daylight in the living room, and it's a totally different look. Some small things to alleviate the boredom, lol. I'll take some pictures, I've heard the foil on the windows is not so common outside this country.
Instead of crocheting a blanket like I did during my other pregnancies, I am now making a teeny tiny pair of pants. But I'm totally guessing the size! Hopefully it will fit a newborn. My first ever piece of clothing made with crochet. Since it's so small, it's going fast which I like.
Hopefully some pictures tomorrow or the day after. Send some Spring my way if you have some to spare!

The Tough Times Ahead

2009-02-19T12:26:00.003+01:00

Big news in the papers here: the economy will "shrink" at the same rate it did in 1931. The prime minister says to expect "tough times" ahead. Unemployment will triple or more from what it is now. I don't think it's news because I saw it coming (of course many others too), I just wonder what will happen. If you still have a job you might not notice much, but obviously it's also a mental issue. If you tell people things are going down, they will act accordingly, there are endless books and studies done on that subject.
Although I don't wish financial problems on anyone, somehow I do wish it will change the way people think about what they really need. Less materialism. I don't like how lots of people want to look expensive, teenagers with 250 euro shoes (± 300 US$) and the newest phone. Since I live in a big city, I know it's a bit of a city thing but I do hope it will change. I don't want my kids growing up asking for clothes only "rich people" can afford. Maybe it's a side-effect of the celebrity culture we live in right now, which always shows stars wearing expensive things and I think that makes it look normal to wear Gucci, Prada and all those big names. Fact of the matter is, it's just too expensive for most, let alone for teenagers who live with their parents and do a newspaper round every morning.
I think I can already spot a little bit of a change, because since telling people there's a new baby on the way here nobody has asked us about moving. When we were expecting son we got a lot of questions about it, but not this time. So either people have given up on us living in a "real" house with a family of 4 (soon to be 5) or they know when everybody's broke, nobody's moving, lol. Luckily we're not broke (yet?) but moving is not a smart thing right now. Husband is hopeful the housing prices will also go done to the level of 1931, though. :-)

The Rapunzel Story

2009-02-18T12:18:00.003+01:00

There is something I've heard women say many times, and it always annoys me. Whenever the conversation turns to hairstyles, these women say: "well, I'd like to cut it, but my husband/boyfriend/significant other won't let me." Someone once even told me: "I'm not allowed to cut it." I've had numerous discussions with my husband about this very topic, and he gets me irritated BIG time when he says: "I just feel short hair doesn't look feminine." Argh! There are beautiful women out there with short hair or who have had short hair (Sharon Stone! Audrey Hepburn! Halle Berry!) who looked very feminine with a short hairdo! His reply is always that's just how he and a lot of other men feel.
I see lots of women on the street with long hair who would look much better with short(er) hair and I just know they're afraid to go short because they worry "it doesn't look feminine enough". Instead they just walk around with really thin, long hair in bad condition tied up in a bun. Well, at least that looks feminine, ahem.
Of course this all has to do with the stereotype of what a woman should look like, but I am so disappointed at how slow these stereotypes change and how deep they are ingrained in the way our society works and we all think. I just thought things would be different in 2009, but there is still the image of Rapunzel with her long, flowing locks, luring her prince to the tower. I bet that fairy tale was thought up by a man, one who wouldn't let his wife cut her hair.

A Day in My Life - February

2009-02-14T19:56:00.002+01:00

As usual, son woke me up around 6:00. Luckily I was able to get him back to sleep after nursing and daughter slept late so we were able to sleep until about 7:30. Woohoo! It's been ages since that happened! I felt so much better when I woke up. We've all had the flu all week so some extra sleep was much needed.
Unfortunately husband still had a splitting headache, so he had to keep calm, in and out of bed a little bit. We had breakfast, son wanted grilled cheese sandwich for breakfast this time (usually it's lunch). After eating and putting everything away again, the kids were allowed some tv and I took a shower and got dressed.
I took the dog out for a walk around 9:45, it was sunny with hardly any wind but still cold! When I got back husband was up too and we had some coffee, just puttered around the house a bit. Did some laundry, played with the kids, read some in the paper.
Around 11:15 husband and daughter were ready to go out to the supermarket for some groceries, after being sick we were out of some essentials! Son wanted to play out on the balcony and wave to his friends who were playing downstairs in the yard. Without a coat he got cold pretty quickly though, so he came in and asked me to close the door. It's so funny because he's very verbal, daughter never was at that age, so you get a pretty good insight into his world and mind. He will ask amazing questions, like two weeks ago when I was making a cake in the kitchen, he came in and said: "what are you making, pizza?" Or to husband who was getting dressed for work: "are you going to work?". And really expecting an answer too, not just copying what we say! We went to the living room and he played with some play-doh and I vacuumed the house.
Around 12:00, son wanted to take a nap so I took him to bed. Husband and daughter came back from the store just as I was sitting in the chair with the laptop "flickring" (no idea if this is a new verb, it just means looking at pictures on Flickr, lol).
We had some lunch, and some more when son woke up around 13:30. After that I folded some laundry and hanging what I had washed (the second load). After finishing that, me and son put on our coat and shoes to go out. We also brought some paper to take to the recycling container. After leaving that we went to the hardware store to buy adhesive foil to put on the windows. I want to get rid of the curtains and have this instead. I also bought some of those tiewraps to fix something on my bike. When we left the store son wanted to go to the playground, so he played there for a while. When he hit his head and wanted to go up a veeeery high slide and I wouldn't let him, he had enough and so we left.
We came home around 16:00. Had a little snack, something to drink and the kids played around a little bit. We started cooking diner around 17:00 and ate it. We had a green salad, baked potatoes, cucumber, grapes and some toast. Our dessert was fresh pineapple. Finished around 18:00 and put everything away.
I helped the kids get ready for bed, pj's and diapers, brushing teeth. Around 19:00 they went to sleep. I did the dishes, made me and husband coffee. Now I'm sitting at the table writing this around 20:30. For the rest of the evening, I'll be watching some tv and go to bed on time. We've kept it quiet today, still not completely well and tired easily.
Have a great weekend!

If you want to read others who participate in "A Day in my Life", go to Jenny's blog here.

The Sick Family

2009-02-12T13:12:00.001+01:00

Sorry everybody, I'm not off to a tropic island to enjoy the sun (wish I was!), but we're all out with the flu in this house! I hope to be back on my feet perhaps tomorrow or after the weekend. Hope to see you then!

The Cleaning Lady

2009-02-06T12:38:00.004+01:00

Last week I got a lecture from my mother about dustmites and airing out the house. She told me I should put our comforters outside for "some fresh air" and "to kill the dusmites" and also to vacuum our mattresses to clean it from all those ugly dustmites (that have never bothered me or interfered with my sleep at all). My mother even went as far as saying we got a cold because we don't air out the house enough. Well, of course you do as your mother say -ahem- so this morning after removing all the bedding for washing and changing, I spent far too long to my liking vacuuming the mattresses. It felt like the most useless chore I have ever done in this place called home. Of course there is stuff on and under the mattress, sometimes the kids eat something in our bed (even though it's not allowed), we have a dog so there is always hair on our clothes (dog doesn't go on the bed) that stays behind and ok, I'll admit it: there was dust too. But vacuuming the mattresses to remove dustmite felt pretty weird, I must say. But at least it sparked another cleaning frenzy in the bedroom, and so I also vacuumed under and behind the bed (something I never do), and even the inside and bottom of the radiator. Wow! That is huge. Why would one vacuum the inside of a radiator? By the way, with inside I mean ours exists out of two parts with a gap in between, it's this gap I cleaned. I also dusted the nightstands, and the piano (yes, we have a piano in our bedroom). As always, I'm glad I did it. I don't like cleaning at all, and there are just some of those chores I hardly ever do. Whenever I actually move something to vacuum under or behind it (instead of going around it like I usually do) I always wonder how many people do this on a regular basis. At the end of the conversation with my mother about the dusmites, I asked her: "do YOU every vacuum your mattress?" Do you know what she said? "Me? Of course not!" Well, well, well.

The Sick Kids & Tired Mother

2009-02-05T15:38:00.003+01:00

I'm so sorry about my absence the last few days, I didn't mean to drop my news and disappear off the radar. :-) Unfortunately, both my kids are sick. They've been waking up around 5, 5:30 every morning and without being able to nap during the day this means I'm worthless. I'm SO not a morning person!! Of course the poor kids are worse off being sick.
In order to do something slightly soothing I'm baking a chocolate/banana cake right now, it smells really good, I'm hoping it will taste equally good! Hopefully I'll have more time and energy in the coming days to continue with one of my ramblings!

The Surprise

2009-02-02T12:14:00.004+01:00

After making it through three months of many many mornings in close contact with my toiletbowl, I can -finally- tell all of you who read this that there is a new baby on the way. Number 3, that is. The baby that the calendar and my monthly cycles assured me couldn't happen, but already has a very strong will and so he or she is on its way, expected some time in late July/early August.
I have no idea how I can manage three kids when I already feel two is such a challenge for me, but I guess there's still lots of time.
So other than preparing for the "usual" babystuff, we also have to shift things around again in our little hut called home, perhaps a bunkbed for the daughter and son, or a room filled with mattresses! And even more decluttering and getting rid of things. Yes, there is more work to be done, but I hope I can also find time to dream and stare, because that is one of the nicest things about being pregnant. Dreaming.

The Overpriced Goods

2009-01-29T20:02:00.004+01:00

Because son is having his 2nd birthday tomorrow, I wanted to bring a treat to our playgroup this morning. Since I didn't have anything in the house, I went to a bakery close to the place the group was held today. It all looked delicious, it was a bit of a "artisan" bakery, it had a hand-made look. Since I had to wait for the two customers before me (who both ordered a sh*tload of stuff!) there was plenty of time to check out the goodies. I saw several cakes that looked delicious, a walnut/caramel-, carrot- or cheesecake. Since you could also buy half of one, I decided that would be nice. But I didn't see any prices, so I decided to ask for the price first. Well, for half a cake that serves 5 people the price was 13,60 euros (18-19 US$). I almost got a heart attack! Because we had already waited so long for our turn there was no time to go elsewhere, so I bought a loaf of broad (a whopping 4,80 euros which is about 7 US$) for our lunch later at home and two huge raisinscones, total was 7,40 euros. Everybody loved the scones, but I was annoyed all day and still am. I think prices like that are crazy. Or am I so out of it and is this normal? The two customers before me bought so much and didn't bat an eye when their total was mentioned (I wish I could have overheard it).
Out here in the south of the city there are shops for fruit and vegetables that call themselves "vegetable-jeweler". No need to tell you what the pricelevel of a shop like that is, when all the asparagus (in January, totally not asparagus season) are symmetrically lined up in their crates, ahem. I guess when you make a lot of things yourself (I mean, scones take like 20 minutes) you know what it costs and how much time it takes, and perhaps that makes you more critical as a customer in shops? How long will people keep buying stuff like that for such prices? Like PerezHilton wrote in his story about the $990 jeans by Tom Ford "even rich people are broke these days, good luck selling your overpriced jeans!" Sometimes I honestly think a recession and crisis is good, just to stop madness like that.
Of course as an overly critical customer who also happens to be frugal there is no business for me in shops like that, and I usually avoid them. But on a day like this, when you step inside and you let it ruin the fun of bringing a treat to friends, you wonder what the truth really is. Is the pricelevel normal for that kind of product, and have I just become too big of a cheapskate or are some things overpriced just because there are people who buy it anyway?

The Little Things To Save Money

2009-01-27T13:47:00.007+01:00

I've taken some pictures of things we do that can save some money. Of course the big things like food budgets, secondhand/best price for big purchases or stop buying things you don't need will save much more, it can still help to shave off some of the costs here and there.

I've written before about using cloth, but I'd like to mention it again. I cut up an old shirt and we use it instead of papertowels. We never buy papertowels or tissues anymore, there's always a stack of these white squares on the table to use. I've also used it as toilet paper but not right now.

This is another. If you squash the tp roll before you hang it (like in my pic), it actually makes everybody in the house use less toiletpaper! I guess because it doesn't run smoothly to roll it off or something. Easy and quick and saves too.

Our heater uses gas (not the kind for cars) and we have to adjust the setting by hand. We turn it up in the morning and down about an hour before we go to bed. Because we do it by hand we can leave it on low when it's not so cold that day or up when it's really cold when we're at home. We turn it off completely when the weather gets warmer, usually in May and try to keep it off as long as possible. Usually we need it again late September, early October.

When it's cold in winter I roll up these big beach towels which we don't use during that time anyway and put them wherever there's a draft. It helps keeping the heat in and the cold out. (yes, I know that wood needs some paint, lol)

This little device is really important. We've used it to measure how much electricity appliances in our house actually use. We found out our old fridge (it was 15+ years so totally not energy efficient) was using way too much and we replaced it, saving us 120 euros in the first year on our electricity bill. We also noticed our computer still used energy even when it was turned off!

Which brings me to the next thing: a main switch. We turn it off at night so things like the computer doesn't continue using electricity. Our flatscreen tv weirdly enough doesn't have an off-switch, and it bugged the h*ll out of me. Even though it used hardly any electricity it was still annoying that we couldn't turn it off. So we installed this and the problem is solved. I wish there was a solution to the wire-problem too, but that's a whole different post. :-)

And this is the last one: our sandwichmaker. Since the kids eat grilled cheese sandwiches every day (we call them "tosti" by the way) we use this thing. You can also do it in a skillet, but this is easier. The tosti's are a good thing, because we eat all of our bread. There is never anything left because they all go in the sandwichmaker and voila! Lunch. The last part of the crust goes to the dog. I don't know how much we save by not having to throw away bread, but it feels good to use everything.

So that's some of what we do to save money here and there. Have a nice day!

The Time To Clean

2009-01-26T17:03:00.004+01:00

Well, I had all sorts of ideas for a blog post today but instead I used an incredible wave of energy during my "free time" (read: napping kids) to do a deep clean in my kitchen. It's sparkling and looks so nice, I'm glad I did it. Some things weren't done in ages, like wipe the inside of the microwave. It wasn't pretty, let me assure you! Right now it's about time to fix diner and I just know I will collapse once the kids are in bed, so I'll make time for proper writing again tomorrow!

PS: I haven't posted many photos lately, it's because the batteries on the camera went dead and we were all too lazy to charge them and also because I write on the laptop a lot and we keep photos only on the "big computer". Perhaps I should do some photo posts soon to make up. :-)

The Unspoken Garbage Rules

2009-01-23T13:25:00.004+01:00

I've written before we have underground containers for garbage here. You open the top, throw in your bag and close the lid and your bag is gone. Because the opening is quite small, not everything fits in it. That's why once a week the garbage truck comes to pick up the big things that don't fit in the container. So every wednesday night people put out by the curb what they don't want anymore and of course this is the time when we cruise the block and do some trashpicking, lol.
These underground containers also have a side-effect that a lot of people hate and many others love. It has become sort of a swaparea. I like it and think it's a lot of fun. It basically means you put next to the container whatever you don't want anymore (NOT on trashnight) and someone else takes it. I've seen everybody in our street do it, either take something or leave something. There's a lot going on there all throughout the week! The old ladies who have the containers right in front of their house hate it, they don't like the mess it creates (or so they say), but I think this system of swapping and reusing is just great. It's so much better when things get a new home, and isn't it cool that there's always somebody who can use it? Things never stay there for long.
When I lived in a different area of the city that didn't have these containers, there was garbagenight two times a week. The houses were a lot smaller there and people needed their trash gone asap for that reason. So it was trashpicking two times a week, and it was a lot busier there with folks going through it. There was an unspoken rule there: the really good stuff you felt deserved a second chance was put out way earlier than the rest, preferably when it was still light out. It was almost always gone when you came out for your second load of the evening (the yucky bags with stinky stuff).
This week during the garbagerounds husband found a shoerack just PERFECT for our hallway (the wet boots and dirty shoes go there now). He also spotted a TFT-monitor and a SENSEO-machine but left those for somebody else since we already own one of each. The swaparea offered two small childrens chairs and a bigscreen tv. I still saw the tv yesterday but the little chairs were gone. :-)

The StarSigns

2009-01-21T16:11:00.003+01:00

First I want to say how impressive it was to see yesterday's inauguration. Even as a European I could feel what an historic moment it was. I'm sure Obama will be everything everybody's hoping for. Daughter was really interested, she was very impressed hearing "he's the boss of America"! And his name is easy to pronounce too for her. She wanted to know what he was saying all throughout the speech. Try translating that into understandable toddlerlanguage! ("now he's saying people shouldn't fight anymore. And now he says they should all work hard" lol!)

So, do you believe in starsigns and horoscopes? Is a description of the starsign you have accurate? I believe in it. I don't believe in a prediction about what will happen that particular week though.
I once read a saying that goes like this: "friends are the family you choose". When I think about my friends I notice most of them are either Virgos or Aquarius, and this has always been like this. A few exceptions of course, but apparently I get along the best with those signs. I am a Leo myself, so is my mother and my brother. This goes well but isn't ideal. Leos are people with lots of pride and drama, they're calm and strong but can certainly roar! So put two Leos together and all is well when they're calm, but it can get pretty heated when they start getting mad or put on the drama.
My son is an Aquarius, and when I found out he would be one I was pretty excited about that because I get along so well with them. I love their social nature and their preference for things out of the ordinary (which is perhaps the flamboyant Leo side in me). All of my Aquarius friends are people to have fun with and they have something excentric which I really like.
The Virgos are my husband, sister and three other friends. Although their pickiness and almost obsessive eye for detail can drive me nuts sometimes, I also appreciate the thoughtfulness and being a perfectionist I understand why they would obsess about something small. I like the fact they're easygoing and modest.
My daughter and mother-in-law are the only Taurus I know. I don't see similarities in their characters, maybe later. Daughter is what the description of a Taurus says: serious, quiet, steady and looooves good food. A friend of mine (Virgo) told me both her parents are Taurus and their fridge is always stocked with the best and most delicious food. I guess it's a typical Taurus thing. Daughter is also not very fast, wants to really get to the core of things before she can move on which also fits the description. Since I've never really had a Taurus in my life I'll be curious to see how this develops.
Although I like reading about it and comparing, I don't place a lot of value on it. People are still people and nothing is correct all the time for everyone. I just think it's really funny that I seem to have a preference for certain signs and wonder if other have this too?

The Good Day

2009-01-19T20:38:00.005+01:00

Lots of rain today, no weather to play outside.

Dancing to Madonna's "Music" with the kids.

Painting and stamping with potatoes.

Of course it didn't take long before hands and cheeks were painted and it was everywhere. :-)

We took a nap in the big bed with the three of us.

I made a big pot of soup, pizza rolls and a batch of cookies for this week (how long will they last?).
It was a really good day.

The Honest 10

2009-01-17T13:39:00.003+01:00

I've written before about honesty, and how much I value it. No matter how hard I try, there are times when I just have to open my big mouth and tell the truth about how I feel about something. Yes, I have hurt people's feelings when I did that. Sometimes there are situations where honesty does more harm than good, and I have been on the fence many times, but speaking the truth wins most of the time. The thought of betraying someone by lying or denying my own opinion by agreeing when I don't is just too hard for me.
So I really liked Grace her post on No One Watching about things she's not changing about herself that might be considered "bad" by others. And on top of that I got an Honest Scrap award from Linda (thank you so much!) too.
To combine those two I'd like to list 10 things about myself that are either bad that I'm ok with or an honest confession. Here goes!
1. I like to make fun of people and sometimes I'm really mean too. I can't help myself! I do make fun of myself too.
2. I've admitted to this before but it's really bad: I laugh at my own jokes, especially after making fun of people. I told you it was bad!
3. I dislike my neighbour whom I don't know just because she's really skinny and very well dressed despite having a young child.
4. It's almost impossible for me to tell the other person he/she is right in a discussion even when I know I'm wrong.
5. There are certain things about myself I'm really pleased with. I mean REALLY pleased with. Almost too much.
6. I have almost zero tolerance for people who are unintelligent and still have a big mouth. Especially when it comes to topics like politics and such.
7. When I was younger I used to believe I could have any man I wanted. I grew over that and found a wonderful husband but I still think it's bad (call me, Leo DiC!) ;-)
8. Some days I don't like being a mother AT ALL.
9. I hate feet. My own and other people's.
10. I can knit a square but I'm unable to create something from a pattern. Or anything other than a square, really.

Have a great weekend!

A Day in My Life - January

2009-01-14T20:17:00.002+01:00

I was still sleeping very deep when son called me, around 5. After nursing I was able to get him back to sleep again, phew. Daughter crawled into our bed around 6:30. It's really hard for her to lay still when she's awake and after fidgeting for a while she said: "daddy, I want to eat breakfast!". That immediately woke son up too. We were able to both keep them in bed until about 7, then husband took them to set the table and start breakfast. I didn't feel very well, there's this stomach bug going around and everybody's had it except me and today was my turn. Really bad cramps and nausea, feeling like you're having heartburn but hungry at the same time. Not nice!
I did manage to get out of bed around 7:30 and sit at the table, attempt to eat something. The bread we bought the day before was the wrong kind for everybody, I didn't feel like touching it and the kids took one bite and declared it "not good". So we switched to crackers.
After breakfast husband showered, I was second. Got dressed, did the whole grooming thing. Husband took dog out, I dressed the kids. When husband left for work, I peeled and cut an apple for the kids and ate a few more small things myself. They watched some tv while I ate and checked email. Actually they don't really watch, it's more walking around doing things and peeking once in a while. Around 9:30 we put on our shoes and coats, we were going to visit a friend. My friend has a little girl 3 months older than son, although they don't play together a lot when we meet, they do like each other's company. Daughter is of course older, but she's always excited about the toys that are not her own.
So we went on the bakfiets, over to friends' house, got there around 10. I was still feeling bad, but taking your mind off it usually works. We talked and watched the kids play, it's funny to see them interact. We left around 11:30 and stopped by the pet store to get some dog food for our oldie. He eats meat we keep in the freezer, it's shaped like a hamburger and he loves it! I love that it's high quality food, that has many benefits. The vet is always impressed by his teeth, they're in very good shape which is unusual for a senior dog like him. He also poops only once a day, so less waste compared to the kibble that makes most dogs poop a lot more (sorry to people who don't have dogs, but dogowners know discussing your dog's poop is really a serious topic, lol). And he doesn't have to drink so much because the food already holds a lot of water and juices. In an ideal world I would have a backyard and a second freezer so I could feed our dog the BARF diet, but it's not possible (yet?).
When we got home I made the kids a grilled cheese sandwich (like every day), they did eat the "not good" bread like that. When they finished, I had to keep my promise and give them the popsicle they were asking for all day. Luckily the popsicles are small and you can break them in half so they can share one.
After that I took son to the bedroom for a nap. He was asleep very quickly. Daughter wanted to draw a cake while I read some on the computer. Because I hadn't eaten much I fried an egg and shared that with daughter. When son woke up we fiddled around for a bit, our washing machine sometimes pulls this stunt where it stops and I have to let out all the water inside, and then it continues normally. Don't know why it does that, but my trick to fix it still works so fine with me. So I did that, waited for the machine to finish so I could hang the laundry. I vacuumed also. Daughter wanted the radio on to dance, so we did that and danced to some old rocksongs. Of course the biggest fun is to dance around really wild and then tumble to the floor all over each other. I had to lay down on the couch for a while because my stomach still hurt especially after the dancing!
Around 15:30 the kids were whining, asking for snacks and I felt bad too, so I took them to the supermarket to get a few items for diner. Normally I don't like going there for just a few things, but I was still hungry and wanted to get some extra things. After doing that we went to the playground, the kids went up and down the slide and played in the sand, even though it was wet from the rain. After about 45 minutes they started pushing each other so it was time to go home. We got home around 16:50. I packed away the stuff we bought, we washed hands and I gave the kids a drink. We watched some tv, they love the show Kikker. When they were totally hypnotized by Kikker, I prepared diner. Husband got home and we had diner and a dessert (yoghurt).
I took daughter with me to walk the dog, she loved looking at the stars. Her surprise when she noticed how many there are!
The kids went to bed around 19:15. Son was asleep around 19:40. I did the dishes, made us coffee and am now relaxing. My stomach is still bothering me! I hope I feel better tomorrow. It's now 21:00 and I think we'll watch some tv and go to bed right before 22:000.
I hope you've all had a good day! I wish I'd have felt better, but I'm glad I was able to do my normal things.

The Best Choice

2009-01-13T12:59:00.004+01:00

I've been thinking about Lizzie's comment on my post about breastfeeding. She wrote: "I agree with you about equality but with breastfeeding ( I breastfed my five children for a total of 6 years) you have to be careful not to be judgmental - I dont know why women feel the need to beat up on each other over stuff like this. Breastfeeding is the best but my generation was formula fed and we turned out O.K. for the most part. I think if you feel so strongly maybe volunteer to help other mothers with advice and breastfeed in public as much as you can. Encouragement and education is the key."

I really appreciate this comment (thank you, Lizzie) and I totally agree about encouragement and education. I also agree women should help each other if they can. I am already doing the things suggested, and it feels really good to do that because I feel so passionate about this subject.
The biggest problem I have is with women who do have a choice (no medications needed, breast reduction, history of abuse and all the other exceptions) to breastfeed or not, who spend 1000 euros or more on an expensive stroller and nursery, read books about parenting, have a 3D ultrasound for lots of money and still choose to stick in a bottle with chemically made formula. The ultra lame excuses of "it's inconvenient" or "daddy wants to feed the baby also". How can you do so much to become the best parent and still make such a bad choice? I don't get it and I think it's dumb. I can only speak for our own country, but here in the NL insurance pays for a lactation consultant when you have problems, you have a nurse who helps you for 7 days after the birth, every hospital, midwife or breastfeeding organisation offers classes to take during pregnancy about what to expect when you start breastfeeding, there are a zillion books about it. In my opinion there is so much being done to help a new mom, how can you not even try it.

Perhaps the real problem is not the mothers themselves, but the fact that formula is still presented as a reasonable choice. As a serious option for feeding your child. Although it's illegal to promote formula for infants under the age of 6 months, the companies who make this still buy commercial time to promote their other products on tv. There are flyers in the waitingrooms of some midwifes and these companies are present at big (baby)fairs. The message that formula is "just as good" is still being spread. Combine that with the mothers of these expectant mothers, who all gave birth in a time where knowledge about breastfeeding was at an all time low, and they were given completely false information (like my mother, they told her she didn't have enough milk after 2 or 3 days before her milk really came in so she stopped). So these mothers cannot help their daughters from own experience, and so the cycle continues in a way. Formula was once created for emergencies, and it should become just that, for emergencies only.

I think Lizzie's conclusion that encouragement and education is the key is totally true, and really the only way to get more and more mothers to breastfeed their child. I know it can be a rough start for some, it can be hard and sometimes even inconvenient, but it's so totally worth it. For the child, but also for yourself as a mother and your health. Did you know, that for a mother who nurses her child for at least 24 months, the protection against breastcancer is almost 50%? Nature (or God for some) intended things to be a certain way, and not without reason. Why do humans always think they're smarter?

The Toy Problem

2009-01-09T13:00:00.002+01:00

Wednesday I used the time normally reserved for blogging to organize all the toys. Yesterday I had to take a nap during that time, son had kept me awake from 4:30 until around 6 in the morning, and then daughter was awake again at 6:30 with a poopy diaper. Ah, bliss.
So the toys, I was looking around and suddenly got really annoyed with the fact they were everywhere. So I did something I had planned a while ago but didn't do then: I took all of daughters clothes out of the closet, it only came down to two stacks. The space that opened up I used to stuff in as much of the toys as I could.
This is what I left out:
- kitchen & play food
- cars of all sorts in different sizes, about 10 in total
- a small bin of animals (Schleich and similar)
- wooden blocks
- the basket with dress-up clothes (a HUGE hit every day)
- books
- 3 stuffed animals
- Dora the Explorer talking backpack (I had put it away because I don't really like it, but the kids asked for it back)
Things like puzzles, games and art supplies are on shelves and weren't included in this project. :-)

I think I will rotate what's in the closet now, or perhaps go throw it once again after a while and see if I can take some things to the thrift store. It's really an ongoing thing, this decluttering. You're not done after one big purge. There are always birthday presents, gifts from grandparents, thrifted items that show up and make a mess again. It's not just toys though, it's everything. If you want to keep clutter down, key is really not to bring anything new in. I've found that nearly impossible as an avid thrifter! And of course have a place for everything, and put it back after using. And putting things back is not something we're very good at in this house ( I say we but I think I'm actually the only one who does it).
Some days the lack of storage or the amount of stuff really annoys me, but in the back of my mind I know there just isn't enough time right now to really do projects like that 100%. In these years, when our children are still so small, we need to be gentle on ourselves and just endure some things we'd like to see different in our house. I have this mantra I stole from some financial expert (is it Suze Orman?) and adapted it: "people first, then animals, then things". Right now, at this time in our life, people are first. Little people. :-)

The World Out There

2009-01-06T13:52:00.002+01:00

I am a mother who stays at home with her kids, I have no paid job outside of the home right now. I used to, but stopped because the money and the fact that it was a horrible job just didn't add up to continue putting daughter in daycare.
And so I take care of two little ones. We go out a few days of the week, but we also spend a lot of time at home because it's quite a challenge for me to handle two active toddlers at a place like the zoo, an indoor playarea or anywhere that makes them run and scream like crazy, for that matter.
My personality is not really suited to be without other adults long periods of time. Sometimes this is hard, and when I forget to really make an effort to talk to other adults for too long I end up being somewhat down. Of course there is the husband that comes home from work every evening, but it's not good for him or our relationship if he has to make up for all my social needs.
A while ago a friend and I agreed to go for drinks on Fridaynight, every two weeks. At first I didn't know if I would like it, but I really do. Whenever I sit at a place that has lots of people talking, music playing and just buzzing all around me, I remember there is a world out there. I sometimes forget! The world I used to belong to when I was still a hottie instead of a nottie like now (just kidding). :-) But seriously, on those nights when I cycle through a dark city and I see all the houses with the lights on, I think: yes, there is so much more out there than just families with small children. One day my life will be totally different again. On the one hand I look forward to that, on the other it makes me laugh that we have this crazy life right now that makes you walk on your toes and sometimes stretches me to the limits. But I think it's a really difficult aspect of being a stay-at-home mother, to stay connected to "the world out there", just so you don't forget and feel like part of a bigger world than just diapers, mess to clean up and babytalk. It's not healthy to forget who you really are, what your needs are and what makes you happy, but it's hard to stay true to that. Whenever I neglect myself for too long in those areas, I tend to get somewhat depressed. There must be so many moms out there who feel the same. Sometimes I see something on tv about mothers addicted to alcohol, pills or shopping and I feel perhaps they are also mothers who lost the connection, who forgot there is so much more out there and just chose the wrong solution. I've had women say to me: "oh, you're home with your kids, so you don't do anything?" Or husband says: "I wish I could be home all day". Well, I'd challenge anyone to come take my place for a week. It's not for everybody and it's definitely not easy. I just hope my kids will be better people for it, and that I never ever loose the connection to myself and the world out there.

The Hot Topics

2009-01-05T12:24:00.002+01:00

There are two subjects that are very close to my heart that I have been avoiding on this blog. I've avoided them because in real life I have been called a fanatic and other not-such-endearing terms when I talked about this, I've gotten into arguments about it and have hurt other people's feelings when I expressed how I felt. I even almost lost my job for it! I suppose when you have a strong opinion about certain things, those opinions are not shared by everybody and it can cause clashes.
I have decided that in this new year I cannot be afraid anymore of saying how I feel, and so I shouldn't avoid these topics when I feel like writing about them.
The first subject is equality, and especially between men and women. It gets my blood boiling when I read somewhere women are still paid less for the same job on the same level as men are, or a male talkshow host saying they'd like more female guests on the show but "there just aren't that many interesting women out there". Argh!
I can even feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up when a friend says she wants to dress sexy for her husband to "keep him happy". It just feels so degrading to me, I can't even believe it. I know some of this is just me, and my own hangups, but it's just a fact that in this world, men are still dominating. Not for much longer, I always hope.
The other thing is breastfeeding. I can't help myself, but I have judgement over any healthy woman who CHOOSES not to breastfeed her baby. I don't believe in formula, and I think it's selfish to not do this for your child. It's just the healthiest out there, and nowadays there is so much information you can use to make it work.
So there, I've said it. This is what I believe and this is what people who know me use as topics to get into a heated debate with me. I fall for it every time, because as I said, it gets my blood boiling and hairs stand up within seconds. I promise to write about it when I feel like it, and if I step on some toes, well, that's just what's gonna happen then. :-)

The New Year 2009

2009-01-01T17:18:00.003+01:00

Happy New Year everyone!!!!!

Isn't it exciting, a whole new year ahead of us? What will it bring? I think 2009 will be a wonderful year with lots of exciting things happening.
I'd like to thank everybody who stops by here and reads what I come up with, and I hope the new year will be as wonderful as we all wish for and more. Let's make it a frugal and thrifty year too!

The Boring Hairdo

2008-12-30T12:18:00.003+01:00

Last week I stopped believing my dreadlocks would ever be presentable without scarfs, caps or pulled back and took them out. It was painful! My head hurt for 5 days after, as if somebody pulled my hair full force. It wasn't too bad to get them out, I got it done quite fast with lots of conditioner and the same fleacomb that put them in.
So now I'm back to my old boring self, hairwise that is. I still love the look of dreadlocks and I like the fact that it's so different, but I think the way I put them in was wrong. I should have made better sectioning so it was more even all over my head. Well, lesson learned and perhaps I will try again when the time is right.
I always have a deep admiration for women who feel totally at ease with the way they look, and don't have much vanity. In another life I would be the perfect candidate for cosmetic surgery, because I'm vain and hate getting older. I'm too frugal now, and also hard on myself, so I kick my own butt for thinking that way.
I guess I have this split personality where one side of me is like the girls from "Sex and the City" , I could whine about wrinkles and frizzy hair and drool over beautiful shoes all day, the other side is kicking me in the butt for whining and telling me to accept myself and celebrate every aspect about myself the way it is. It probably depends on my mood, the weather and how much sleep I had which side takes top spot. :-)

The One Child Theory

2008-12-29T12:13:00.004+01:00

If you have more than one child, you are doing a bad thing for the environment. Overpopulation is a big problem for the planet, and if we all had just one child, the problem would not be as big. Even though families in developing countries are usually much bigger than ours in the Western ones, they use much less of the worlds resources and are therefore a smaller "threat" to the environment.
As a mother of two, this message has obviously gone past me. Perhaps if I had known about all of this before I ever thought about starting a family, I might have decided (together with husband, of course) to have just one child and leave it at that. Or not. Although I can see the reasoning behind the one-child theory, I also have my doubts. Even though we all consider ourselves intelligent and evolved, males are still favored in this society and so I think China is an example of where we can see what happens with that. I think the ratio is now 1 girl to 5 boys there. What will happen to the society when these children are adults? There will be a massive problem when it comes to forming a relationship, starting a family. Huge numbers of males who are unable to find a woman, simply because there aren't enough.
And in order to keep the social system and social securities, the country needs an even number of older and younger adults who participate in the working force, so the younger earn enough wages to provide for the elderly and their costs of living. If this all goes askew, there is another disaster waiting to happen.
Of course I'm not a demograph, sociologist or economist, so this is all just of the top of my simple head, but in my simpleness I feel this solution of just having one child is not the right one. Having children or not and how many is such a personal choice, made from the heart, it's hard to have rational reasons like overpopulation or the environment make the decision for you. Kudos to you if you can, I cannot be so.
And I still have hope. Call me naive, but I still believe in solutions. I still think there will be answers, and new science and developments that will help solve this problem. And I really hope my children will be part of those answers and solutions, instead of being part of the problem.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T20:23:00.003+01:00

Merry Christmas everybody!!!
I got this book at a thrift store in the summer and really loved the illustrations. I hope you all have wonderful days with lots of peace and quiet, and fun things with fun people! :-)

The Two Pigs and Half a Cow

2008-12-23T20:25:00.003+01:00

As the year is coming to an end, it's been twelve months since husband and I decided we would step away from eating meat and only eat it when we really feel like it. Looking back, I'd say we've had meat an average of once a week. We are definitely not changing that for the new year.
And so it was interesting to read in the paper this week, that the average Dutch family of four eat 87 kilos of meat per person per year, which is two pigs and half a cow per family. If you do some calculations, it's easy to find out this means each person eats 242 grams per day. Somehow this is difficult for me to understand, because I think it's so much! The official guidelines say an adult should only take about 100 to 125 grams. It means one would have to eat a fairly big piece for diner, but also during lunch and perhaps breakfast? Did they even take out babies and vegetarians, or people who don't eat pork for religious reasons in these numbers?
Holland is seventh in the world when it comes to meatconsumption, not something to be proud of I think. It just shows there is still such a long way to go before these numbers will go down drastically. And I think to achieve that, there is a shift needed, a shift like we made in our thinking, taking the focus away from meat as main part of our daily meals, but instead putting it on vegetables. Just to show eating vegetarian food is not "rabbit food", "boring" or (this is always my favorite) "unhealthy", vegetables should be promoted more, and how to prepare them. Before we ever looked into vegatarian cooking, we just cooked the vegetables or perhaps stir-fry them and that was it. No wonder we thought they were boring and not very good!
Christmas is almost here, and it's probably going to be another meatfocused diner table in lots of houses. Didn't Mary and Joseph have pigs and a cow in the stable on that cold night so long ago? Did they say to each other: "wow, a year's worth of meat standing around!" ? Probably not. Let's all try for the new year (if you aren't already) to eat less meat. If you do nothing else for the environment, do this. Or do it for your own health, or for the animals. Two pigs and half a cow, imagine that.

The Drivers' Seat

2008-12-16T13:46:00.003+01:00

Some people believe that meditating is only "real" when you sit and have no thoughts at all. Although this is certainly the highest achievable goal in meditation, to just sit and be without any thoughts entering your mind, this is almost impossible when you're just starting and are living an average western life (in my opinion). So when you meditate, it's natural and normal that thoughts float by. The trick is though, to not grab hold of these thoughts and just watch them disappear again. With grabbing hold I mean thinking more, expanding on the thought that just popped up. For example, you might sit and a thought comes up that says "I'd like to have lasagna for diner". If you observe that you have this thought and let it go, it goes away again. If you catch it, you mind goes off, firing new thoughts about the lasagna: "do I have enough time?" and "oh, but I don't have any cheese!". See what I mean?
So what's really cool about this, is that we all have the power to pick and choose thoughts and do something with them, or just let them pass by. This is easier to do in a serene setting where you're quiet and "officially" meditating than in busy aisles of the grocery store, but over time and with practice, you can.
Which means you basically decide who's in the drivers' seat of your soul. Is it the inner critic, who always says what's right and wrong? Is it the sweet little girl who still lives inside, almost naive and always happy? Or does the dark and gloomy person has the wheel, the one who always tells you you stink at everything?
It's very interesting to observe what thoughts come up and what the source is. And it feels like real freedom to sometimes ignore them, just because you can. Our thoughts are not who we are, even though we think so at first glance.

A Day in My Life - December

2008-12-15T10:13:00.003+01:00

Daughter woke up at 6, she also woke up her brother in our room so both kids were up really early. Pretty soon they were demanding to have breakfast. After trying to distract them (failed) husband got out of bed to set the table with them. I really wanted to get out too and join them, but I fell asleep again. When I woke up again they had already eaten and were playing. So husband and I switched places, and after a while I went back to lay in bed for a bit more. We're both really tired because the past month we've all had pretty heavy colds (my sinus infection still isn't gone), son has gotten another (bottom) molar so he was pretty difficult and miserable and daughter has been waking up really early, before she's really rested which makes her cranky and not well the rest of the day. Plus those dark days right before Christmas......Usually mornings like this mean the kids get into all sorts of trouble and husband and myself go back and forth between bed and living room. It's not like we're really resting, but we do the best we can.
I decided to really get out of bed somewhere around 8, and woke husband up at 9 because I wanted to shower. The dog asked to go out and I wanted to take him.
The rest of the morning I vacuumed and organized the toys. I hadn't done that all week and it was everywhere. If things are back in their right place, everything looks much better and the kids have more fun playing.
Around 11, both kids were really tired so they both had a nap. I went on the computer to do some research on something, husband wanted to do some work on his bike. When the kids woke up we had lunch (grilled cheese) and prepared ourselves for a trip downtown. We left the house around 13:30 and waited for the bus. Usually we use the bike or tram, but this time we needed to go to a specific store which is easiest to get to by subway (metro). So we took the bus to the station and got into the subway. For the kids this is such an adventure! They were both really excited.
We went to the oriental supermarket because they sell big boxes of baking soda there and we were all out. We bought 3 boxes, which should last us about a year, some tofu, cassave chips, and daughter chose some kind of strawberry-flavored cookies. After that we picked up some coffeepads for our Senseo and headed home. We got home at 15:20 and ten minutes later the doorbell rang. We got a visit from "opa en oma" (grandmother and grandfather). We had some coffee (hence the coffeepads we had picked up earlier) and talked for a bit, of course the kids talked all about their exciting ride on the subway.
After the grandparents left we rested for a bit on the couch. Then we had some soup, we were all so hungry!
Husband fixed us a stirfry with rice and cashews and our dessert was an orange.
Then the kids and their father danced to some music while I folded laundry in the bedroom. It was loud, but they enjoyed themselves a lot. I also took out some clothes to iron and the ironing board to do later.
When the kids were in bed and asleep around 19:30 I did the dishes and made coffee for myself and husband. When we finished I did the ironing and took some pictures of some of the items of clothing because we want to sell it. When that was all done we watched some tv and I went to bed around 22:15.
Not a typical Sunday for us, but it was a good day.

For a complete list of other bloggers who participate in "A Day in My Life", please visit Jenny's blog here

The Music that's Playing in my Ear

2008-12-13T13:10:00.003+01:00

I love music, and all kinds too. I really love going to bed early and listen to music on my MP3player. I listen to the same songs over and over, but once in a while I feel like playing random music with the shuffle feature. When I listen to dance music, it brings me joy and that feeling of "I can do it!". When I listen to Madonna I feel "Yes! I am a SuperWoman!!". Or I listen to James Taylor and think how much I love his voice and sweet songs, it calms me.

Right now, I am hugely into this wonderful lady, and if you don't know her check it out. It's Adele.

One of her songs (Hometown Glory) was even on Grey's Anatomy (finale season 4)! Her English is not what I learned in school, so sometimes I can't understand, but it doesn't matter. :-) I love it!
Tomorrow will be another "Day in my Life", so I'll try to post it on the day itself or the one after. Have a great weekend!

The Burden on Others

2008-12-12T13:07:00.004+01:00

One of the messages my parents gave me in my upbringing was: don't be a burden to anyone. I don't know if they explicitly said it, but it really stuck with me and sometimes I wish it didn't. It's the reason why I shoosh my kids too much in public (even when I personally don't care if they're talking loud), why we sometimes leave some place because one of the children is yelling, why I don't like visiting unannounced or even calling people because I'm afraid I'm bothering them, and it's also the reason why I don't ask for help even if I could really use it. And it's so stupid, I know, but still, I would feel horrible if I dropped by and the person I'm visiting is uncomfortable because they were just about to do X, Y or Z. Or a few weeks ago husband was on one end of the store and me, son and daughter were at the other, son was screaming and another customer said (husband heard it): "why don't these folks understand kids don't like this?". I was horrified when he told me later!

The message to "don't be a burden" is actually also a very confusing one, because what's bothering one person is perfectly fine with someone else. I suppose this message also has to do with my parents' strong feeling about etiquette, that everything's supposed to be civil and classy, or controlled and stiff if you like. Like you see in somewhat classic British movies, lol.

It's also strange, because you're basically assuming the other person will not honestly tell you it's not a good time or they were about to leave the house. Or maybe I just want to avoid hearing that because I feel I should have known it beforehand (which is impossible). I haven't figured out a way yet to stop this way of thinking. Instead I just try to cover myself by asking: "am I interrupting?" or "is this a bad time for you?".

Sometimes I kick myself for not finishing that psychology study, lol.

The Family Team

2008-12-10T13:26:00.004+01:00

One of my pet peeves is how some people behave towards their children. I know we are all human and we all have our moments when it's all too much and you snap. I am talking about the fundamental belief that exists among lots of parents, that children are on one side and the parent is on the other. I will hear "he's just testing us" or "she's just doing it on purpose to get to me". Sounds familiar? I have a firm belief that children are people. They have a small body, but their feelings matter just as much as mine or anybody else's. They have an opinion, they have ideas. Of course children aren't polished yet, like adults. But their rough edges give them such charm! They need us, their mother and father, to show them ways to handle their feelings of anger or sadness. What to do when you feel frustrated, how to relax so you can go to sleep.
Sometimes people are really surprised to see my kids (3 and almost 2) say "thank you" or "please". I've never pushed that, I just simply always thanked them when they gave something to me. Children do what you do, so they just started saying thank you whenever they get something. Simple!
A while ago my husband was really angry with my son and wanted to change his diaper. My son fought to get away and screamed really loud. Husband managed to get the diaper done but was incredibly frustrated about what went down. I said to him: "how would you feel if you needed help and I had to wipe your bottom while you knew I was raving mad? You'd be scared, feel extremely vulnerable and you probably wouldn't want me doing it in the first place." I hope it helped him at that moment, just as I need help in others. Every day I exercise myself in being mindful, try to stay in the moment and see what's behind the behavior of my children.
I don't believe there's any child in this world who is born with bad intentions. Every child wants to do good, especially for their parents. It's so unfair to take away their compass (us) and expect them to figure things out on their own. I suppose it's exactly the opposite of what we want for our children: to let them wrestle with complicated feelings they don't understand and making up their own coping mechanisms. If you view children as having bad intentions behind their actions you take a position no parent should be in: on the opposite side of your child. I believe this is bound to go wrong. As a mother who gave birth to this person, as a father who is such an important person in their life, as family, we should all be on the same team and root for each other. No newborn baby should be left alone to cry so he or she can "learn to go to sleep by his/herself". No toddler should be shamed for messing up a dress. No baby should have his diaper changed by someone talking on the phone.
I know this is hard, because I work on this every day, but I strongly believe my children deserve no less. Parenting is really the hardest job on earth, and in the end it's all about respecting each other.

The Simple Life

2008-12-09T13:16:00.003+01:00

If you think about simple living, it might mean something different for everybody. For me, it means staying away from the ratrace of wanting more, bigger and better. It means being happy with what you have, seeing what's there and what you need instead of want. Also avoiding comparison to whomever and of course trying to be immune to companies telling you you need X, Y and Z. All of this is not something I can do 24/7. I have my moments, lol. I think the older you get, the easier this will become. At our age (early '30s) most people are really into their career, earning money and doing luxurious things. We hardly know anybody who does what we do. Although I feel strongly about the path we've chosen, if you're the only one it's hard sometimes. That's also because in our neighbourhood, the income is above average. If the population here was more mixed, it would be different, I'm sure.

I think to stay motivated and really follow through with simple living, avoiding to compare yourself is key. I know if I watch some of my neighbours too much, I might get dissatisfied quicker because I see beautiful expensive clothes, huge boxes of food and wine brought into the house, faraway trips to exotic places and cleaning ladies. Really focusing on what we feel is important and reminding myself of that is a good remedy. Or I ask myself: "is what they do or have really what YOU want?" Usually it's not. I know we could do it like that or have what they have, but it would mean both me and husband working full-time at a topjob. And that's not what we want! Comparing is very human, but it's also pointless.

I think not feeling the pressure to get more, bigger and better is such a freedom. It leaves room for thinking about what we want for ourselves (apart from being a parent), about choosing time over money and how to spend that time. And what's really important: living life at a slower pace. It's such a cliche, but what do we want as a conclusion when our life comes to an end? What do we want our lives to reflect right now?

Off to find a hanky for my nose again. :-)

The Old Socks

2008-12-08T13:59:00.004+01:00

I think my cold is now a sinus infection. It hurts all over my face, I have a headache and it hurts behind my eyes, cheek and jaw. Poor me!

Despite feeling bad and having low energy, husband and I did manage to declutter our clothes again. We went through our wintergear and our regular stuff. The result: 3 garbagebags! I also took out 3 pairs of shoes, two of which I've tried to sell online recently. They didn't sell, and now I decided they would make a great find for someone at the thriftstore. It's really hard sometimes to tell yourself the money is already spent and it's time to move on. It did feel like a relief. I guess in a way I feel guilty for spending the money and not wearing the shoes. Once they're gone, the guilt is too.

While sorting through our wardrobe, I came across things and wondered: how old is this stuff? There's a pair of bright blue leather Puma's, the classic Clyde's, I bought before I met husband so they're over 11 years old. A vintage blouse from the '70s, I've had it for probably 8 years. Since most of us have so many clothes nowadays not much gets really worn out.

There is one category in which lots of people do wear stuff out and it's underwear. Early this year I cleaned out my sockbox and threw out pairs that were so old and faded they were an embarassment to the decent socks of this world. As long as they're still good there isn't an expiration date on socks, but mine were really bad. Panties and bras: same thing. Holes, discolored, elastic almost non-existent. Some years and years old. Same with husband's stuff. I don't think we're alone, since Oprah does shows on this and magazines feature articles about it. Who feels like livening up their sockdrawer (or box in my case) if you have the money and are headed to the shops? Or seek out a fresh pair of black or white basic cotton panties? I don't think it's very exciting, so you only do it when the old stuff gets too bad to walk around in. Or at least I do. Right now everything (except the bras) is up-to-date again, but I hope I can keep this up!

There's a crying toddler hanging on my arm and another one screaming in the bedroom, so this it for today. I have to find a way to have some time for my blogging, it's getting difficult!

Hope everybody feels better than I do right now. :-)

The Happy Holidays

2008-12-04T13:00:00.003+01:00

Boy, this cold seems to get worse and worse! I have to do my best to keep myself together every day, so blogging is not really at the top of my list. Sorry!

Despite runny noses and buzzing headaches, I have noticed it's December now. A month of festivities. Here in Holland we celebrate "Sinterklaas" (Saint Nicolas) at December 5th. In the weeks prior to that date, kids (and adults if they want to) can put their shoe by the heater/stove and during the night, the Saint and his helpers come and put in a gift. On December 5th, the eve of his birthday, there is a bag of gifts left at the doorstep and the doorbell rings. Everybody runs to the door and WOW! *GASP* there are gifts!!! (thank you, neighbour for helping, lol). Of course for children this is all very exciting, which explains why daughter has been dressed as the Saints helper all week and wakes up at crazy hours. She leaves her shoe by the heater every night although I tell her "Sinterklaas" will be going to another child this night. Yesterday she threw her shoe across the room, declaring she was done with the whole shoething if Saint wasn't coming. Tomorrow he will be visiting her school, which is a big deal (obviously). I worry slightly because it scared the hell out of her last year, but thankfully both me and her father will be there tomorrow so we can support her. And then tomorrow night with a little help from our neighbour, we will hopefully have a nice evening and we can put the costume, the cd's and figurines away on Saturday. Hopefully daughter will understand and be ok with that.
After Sinterklaas tomorrow, it's time to focus on Christmas. Since we do the gifts now, there are no gifts at Christmas for us. Some do, but in our family we chose to stick to the "Sinterklaas" tradition. My mother used to say that gifts are not appropiate in the Christian view on Christmas (lots of people disagree of course) so Christmas is usually about food and sitting around. And to be honest, I'm not a fan. I've never liked Christmas. Perhaps because the pressure was always on in our house to have a good time and that usually ended up in big fights between all of us. I'll even admit here that we haven't had a Christmas tree in years. Perhaps we'll do one this year because daughter is now big enough to understand and she might like it.
Every year I tell myself and husband we're going on vacation during Christmas, and every year we end up thinking of ways to avoid the family obligations. It's really childish, but I can't seem to get rid of this Christmas-monster. I suppose I just don't like sitting around, eating and drinking too much and not doing anything else. Every year I wonder if this will be the year where we are adults who can invent our own traditions with our children, and every year we make the trip to our parents like obedient children because we are too scared to break with the old and tell them flat-out we want to do different things.
I think there are lots and lots of people who don't like the holidays, but others adore it and have decorations up somewhere in November. Are there people on this earth who love spending time with their family and feel wonderful during Christmas? I don't think I've met someone like that. Sad, isn't it? It scares me because I don't want my kids to feel this way about Christmas when they are adults.
As a teenager I used to see that video from Wham! every year and feel irritated because they had so much fun and snow and laughter in that video! And all those movies where the whole family is really celebrating! Our Christmases were never like that, and they still aren't! We spend two+ hours in the car on Christmas Day, and then again the same but to the other family on the day after. Well, I look up from the computer and I see it's snowing. I'm sure (if there's a God) He loves a joke sometimes and sending me a message right now. Yay for the holidays! :-)

The Favorite Thrifted Finds

2008-12-02T13:11:00.009+01:00

So sorry about my absence, everybody was sick here and I was the last one to get it. It has been a few hard days but it looks like the worst is over. I still feel very tired and my head is exploding with a nosecold, but I can manage now.

Today I'd like to show you a few favorites I've found over the years on our thrifting adventures. Many things we buy we end up reselling or donating again, but there are a few things I really adore and am still pleased with.

1. These eggcups. They're stainless steel, pretty heavy too, made in Danmark. I love their shape, they can't fall over and are easy to clean, plus they will never break! We have four, I am sure I paid 25 cents each a few years ago. I still see these in thriftstores or at a flea market once in a while, but they're hardly ever from Danmark.

2. These two friends are boring as h*ll, but I do love them and we use them every day. I love the color and they're so practical. Of course the infinite lifespan of Tupperware ensures these babies are at least 30 years old. We have three in total, two hold sugar (cane and regular), the other one chocolate sprinkles. I paid 1 euro for the biggest, 50 cents for the smaller two.

3. This little thing, I just love it so much!! It's a small wooden egg, it has a little bell inside. It's for a baby, but I can't resist holding it in my hand every time I see it. I bought it for my kids but they never got to play with it. :-)
I paid 10 cents 2 or 3 yrs ago for it at "Koninginnedag", which is a national "sell-your-junk-on-the-street-day" here, a heaven on earth for thrifters.

4. These two weird heads always make me laugh. They're in the kitchen (yes, that is dust on the right one!) and look at me with their funny, ugly faces every day. The lady I bought them from told me they're from Mexico, but the bottom says made in Japan. Doesn't really matter though, they're fun! I plan on giving one of them to a friend who loves quirky things to thank her for borrowing her serger.
I bought these two about three months ago and paid 4 euros for both.

5. The colors, sounds and soft wood are all just so lovely on this! My kids are (almost) too big for it now, but every once in a while it catches their eye again and they spend a good few minutes touching, shaking and looking and sometimes stacking. Just what they're made for. It's by a brand called WonderWorld, amazing quality and this thing lives in the windowsill because I love looking at it myself. Especially the colors! I was very mad at our dog who almost destroyed one block. Luckily some woodglue keeps it together still. The lady I bought it from demanded 4 euros for it, which was almost too much for me but I loved it so. She said: "you know what this costs new!" I think it's about 25 euros in the shop, I paid her the 4 she wanted.

6. Last but not least, our friend Buddha. This statue is one of my favorite things in the house, I would take it with me in case of a fire. I love the shape, the wood feels really soft and his expression is beautiful. I bought it at a large fleamarket that has professional dealers mostly, which had me worried about the price when I spotted it. The seller "only" asked 4 euros for it. I paid it happily, because I think it's totally worth it. The kids love it too, they say he's "sleeping". Just moments after I took this picture, son dropped it on the floor and the incenseburner he's holding (or at least that's what I think it is) cracked right where his hands are. It didn't break but it's a bit loose now. Argh!!

That was it for today! I hope I'm in better shape tomorrow. :-)

The Turkey

2008-11-27T20:18:00.003+01:00

This poor schmuck (and that's really the only word that comes up to describe him) is the laughing-stock of our favorite place, the petting farm. He lives there in a flock of geese, chickens, ducks and other birds of a feather that I cannot name. He's the biggest, but always the nerd. He (or is it a she? I don't know!) tiptoes around with a nervousness about him, scared of all the other birds and always the last to get a bit to eat. I've never heard him make that weird turkey sound either, I guess he doesn't dare.
He reminds me of our dog. Our dog is also a nervous wreck, always scared people will step on his legs or trip over him. The turkey has the same bodylanguage. And because he reminds me of our dog, I figure he must have had a hard life (just like our dog which caused the nervousness in him) and so I have a soft spot for this turkey.
Last week we were there and all of a sudden the turkey had changed. There was purple on his face and turkeyneck, he had his tail up and an attitude to match it! It's probably some sort of mating ritual? I don't know anything about turkeys and I'm too lazy to google it right now, lol.
So anyway, we don't have Thanksgiving here so we don't eat turkey today, but knowing it's a traditional meal in the US it inspired me to look for this picture. :-) I don't mean to ruin anyone's appetite!
Happy Thanksgiving and isn't it wonderful to take a moment, even when you're not celebrating this holiday, to think about what we're thankful for? We got married on Thanksgiving, just because we had to choose a date in November and I really liked the thought behind it, especially since we had so much to be thankful for (a healthy daughter and a son on the way at that time) that we wanted to get married on that specific day and celebrate all our blessings. I don't think anybody understood, but perhaps our family's too Dutch for it. ;-)
Happy Turkey Day!!!

The Lack of Sleep

2008-11-26T11:34:00.004+01:00

Sleep deprivation. I keep telling my husband it's what they use in some prisons to put pressure on suspects to make them confess. Perhaps it's what kids do to break their parents, for whatever reason. There was a time when I slept through the night, perhaps waking naturally and rolling over to pick up sleep again. Oh, those were the days.
It's been a horrible few nights with kids being sick (terrible cold and throwing up all over their beds). I think the worst was one night where both husband and I had to get out of bed almost every half hour. Last night I had to wake "only" four times. Sigh.
I've said it before, but young mothers are the heaviest users of caffeine in Coca-Cola and coffee. I always have one of those horrible energy drinks in the fridge, you know the kind, one can has about 8 cups of coffee worth of caffeine in it? It's my emergency thing. It's not been used this week, however.
The sleep deprivation is just so hard for me, because I am not a morning person by nature and it's even worse if I've been disturbed in my sleep. And during the day it doesn't make me a better mom. I have told myself to not have any expectations of myself in this state and do things that nurture me too. But I'm not my normal self like this and it frustrates sometimes. I read the paper and normally get lots of ideas from it, but now I only read half of it and can't remember later. Yesterday I went into the kitchen to do dishes and I had already done them. :-) If I walk the dog I feel like my head is filled with cotton balls and just stare. It doesn't even matter how early I go to bed!
I know this is just a short time in our lives and my children (especially my youngest) WILL learn to sleep through the night and wake at a reasonable hour, one day. But sometimes I'm just so fed up with it. So, enough with the vent. Back to my laundry!

The Hat

2008-11-25T20:07:00.004+01:00

Ladies (& gentlemen?),

Today we are proud to show you our newest hat called "Pomme", modelled by the international supermodel by the name of N!

Crocheted in a beautiful, vibrant red Scottish wool topped with a felt leaf and stem, handsewn.

The model refused to have a frontal picture taken because he said "it is not his best side and it's not in the contract either". :-)

The Tiny Apartment Problem

2008-11-24T11:24:00.004+01:00

One of my biggest frustrations of this small apartment is the fact that it forces us to put things where we don't want them. I could get rid of everything, and still there would be toys in the livingroom, simply because in daughter's room there is not enough room for two toddlers to really play. No matter how much I declutter, there will always be laundry drying in our bedroom during wintertime, simply because there is no other place to dry it when it can't be outside.
And so I keep focusing on streamlining what we have, getting rid of things, but I think apart from that I also need to work on accepting that this is what it is, and perhaps figure out ways to be less bothered by it or have it look nice.
I once had a coworker who moved from a really small house to a large one, and she invited me over after her move. "Look at our place, it's empty!" she said of her new house. The furniture and stuff they brought with them to the new place looked like nothing in a large house (sounds like heaven to me, but alas). And that's what I tell myself everytime I sweep a handful of Little People from the couch just so I can sit: this isn't much, it's just concentrated in a small space. It helps. Somewhat.
What I really like about those nice homes on Apartment Therapy is the emtpiness that is so pleasing to the eye. I don't know how they do it, but it sure looks lovely. Impossible here.
And every time I ask husband about placing a cupboard or storage system somewhere, he says we should focus on having less stuff to put in there, which I totally agree with. It's a constant process, which is why I put on my list for this week to clean out and organize our kitchen drawer (yes, we have only one drawer in our kitchen) and sort + organize our wintergear and put away all summer and fall coats. If that's out of the way at least it looks nice again (for a while).
Our bottlenecks (and I probably talked about this earlier) are two things: the things we keep with the intent to sell, and a lack of time to really organize our space and work on selling those items. That dreaded box of clothing is in our bedroom, waiting to be sold some way some day, and it's been there for over 16 months. I hate it! But because there are expensive items in that box, I can't bear myself (and so can't husband) to just put in the car and take it to the thrift store. It's horrible! If we sold everything we have kept with the intention to sell, I think it would empty an entire closet. So there's my dirty little secret out in the open. The "one day...." cluttermonster every professional organizer talks about, also lives in our house. And I don't like giving him room and board, so it needs to move out. Time to get busy. Let's make it a New Years Resolution!!

The Weird Seven

2008-11-21T13:15:00.003+01:00

So I've gotten a tag from Selena at ApronThriftGirl with the question to tell seven quirky things about myself. This is what it's about:

Rules:

1. link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
2. share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.
3. tag 7 people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
4. let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Well, I don't really know 7 blogs to tag, so I'm going to skip that part, other than that here are some little-known facts:

1. I have freckles on my face. My hair isn't really red, more of a chestnut color, but the freckles are there. All over my nose, cheeks and a little bit on my chin and forhead. I've never liked it, I think I would look better without them. Although as I grow older, the upside reveals itself which is that people are never sure about my age. I like that. And wrinkles don't really show and I always have color on my face even in the dead of winter. Hey, what's not to like about them, now that I think of it?
2. I should have been a major superstar in singing and acting, but somehow it never happened for me. :-)
3. I hold my breath while watching Grey's Anatomy and always swear when the commercial breaks start.
4. One of the hardest things to declutter, which took me a loooong time to do, was getting rid of my Jackie Collins paperbacks. I can't imagine a sunny vacation at the beach without one!
5. I hate sport and working out. I was the only person in my class to get a 1 (here we get grades from 1 to 10 with 1 being the lowest) for physical ed. Every once in a while I will do some yoga in the living room, but that's it. Luckily us Dutch folks go everywhere on a bike and I walk the dog every day. It's still exercise, I tell myself.
6. I daydream a lot. I like making up stories about what I'd do, where I'd live, what it all will be like when.... and stuff like that. Not because I'm unhappy with my current life, it's something I've always done since I was a child. I just like doing it.
7. I freak out (as calmly as I can) when the kids wipe their nose on me. Stuff in and out of noses is really the worst for me. It's the reason why I would NEVER touch under a table or grab the bottom to lift a chair that's not my own. This is quirky and weird, right? :-)

And many many thanks to Linda for giving me an award here. I think it's such an honor to be called cool! I've always wanted to be that. :-)

Have a great weekend!

The Former Friends

2008-11-20T16:57:00.003+01:00

Last week I was thinking about friendship. I have two friends I've known since I was 15 and 18, other than those two, friends have come and gone. I realize having two really good friends is more than enough to get you by really decently in this life, but other than those two I don't have a really good trackrecord in friendships.
Some have ended because I was told I didn't listen and that our friendship needed a lot of work. Others just faded away, there were those friendships that fitted a certain life and stopped fitting once my life changed (read: college). I've felt dissatisfied with how a lot of those friendships ended for a long time, and because I didn't have "closure" (such a psychology word) I kept thinking about it, even sending cards or emails that never got answered.
When I was thinking about some former friends once again, I told myself it had to stop and made myself think about what was the common theme in why those friendships ended. I had to think long and hard, I had to be really honest with myself and I came up with the answer: all those people had told me at one point or another I had to change. And that message has made me withdraw or walk away almost instantly.
It was quite an epiphany (spelling?) to come to that conclusion. It also made me realize I could have saved some of those friendships if I had just had the courage to get into a dialogue about it. Why do you want me to change? Is some of the criticism really about me or about you? I think I secretly feel I'm not accepted for who I am by someone who tells me I need to change. Perhaps I'm arrogant, but I feel friends like each other for who they are and change can only come from the inside. So it's not really a big loss that those people are no longer in my life, but it feels like relief knowing why I walked away or just gave up. I guess it's a lesson learned, long after that the fact. Now I know what triggers me into this behavior and I can perhaps do better next time. But some friendships just end, that's part of life.

The Rainbow Scarf & More

2008-11-19T12:50:00.008+01:00

This little find, thrifted on Saturday for only 50 cents, makes me so happy! I love the colors so much. And a rainbow too, who wouldn't love that? I bought a couple of thermal shirts in grey and navy a few years ago and decluttered pretty much everything else, so those thermals are sort of my uniform in winter, but those colors are just too heavy for me. Even the thought of having to wear those dark colors all winter almost made me depressed, lol. So apart from everything else in my wardrobe that can add color I now have this to liven it up.

So then you ask me: if you love color so much, why declutter to the point where you just have the navy and grey and nothing left you really love? Good question, I say. I have to tell you that I decluttered and bought different things all the time before, and never really thought about something as simple as "personal style". Then one day I asked myself: what defines you, when it comes to clothing? What would describe you and make you happy as a personal style? The answer was simple: jeans and color. So I used that as a compass for new purchases. And because I have an education in fashion, I know that I cannot let my wardrobe become too much like that of a clown, so I still have my share of black, navy and grey but I got more color the past year and I'm so glad I did. So in a way this scarf is really ME. :-)

I kept my word and made a list of things to do this Sunday. At first I thought I'd write down chores for each day, but instead I just wrote down what I wanted to have done by Friday. Right now on Wednesyday, I have only one thing on the list left to do! I even did what I postponed for weeks (bedroom windows and curtains) and what I hated (bathroom scrubbing). This means it works, yay!

Oh, and another picture of my hair (is it getting boring yet?)@ 5 weeks, just to show it really is somewhat dreadlock-y. All the loose hairs drive my nuts!

And this little girl is sitting around, hoping for her shirt and jacket to be finished this week. I'm also working on the Etsy shop, I have registered (came up with a great name, if I say so myself) and took pictures, but now I need to finish the banner and I can put things up! So more about that soon.

The Disappointment

2008-11-18T13:53:00.004+01:00

I was really surprised to read in the paper a woman here in Amsterdam got a 90 euro fine for taking a babycrib from the trash. Apparently it is illegal to "search through and scatter around trash". Well, that makes sense because there are as many rats as people in this city, and nobody wants more of them. But this lady didn't search anything. She didn't tear open a trashbag, she just took a crib that was standing there next to a pile of trash! The cops who fined her were either in a bad mood or not into the environment at all. Isn't it a good thing when stuff gets recycled or reused? I've lived in this city since I was 18, and also trashpicked ever since, and I've never seen a police officer look at me (or others doing it) strangely because I took something. When we lived in a busier part of the city we did have homeless people tear open our bags and look for food or other stuff, I suppose actions like that sparked the initial rule the officers followed. Sometimes I wonder why governments don't support reusing and recycling more. Is it because the economy doesn't benefit? Probably. If we all stopped buying new bad things would happen, I know. But buying secondhand stuff will never be popular for 100% of the people, so I don't think there's anything to fear. I think more people would consider it if more attention would be drawn to it.
I can only remember my parents buying something secondhand ONCE. A table and chairs, 10 years ago. Oh, and cars for my mother (yes, the 2nd car) were also used. Every little thing, our clothes as children, toys, you name it. It was always bought new. My inlaws: exactly the same. In fact, when they moved house right after we did, they got rid of everything they had and bought everything for the new house brand new. When it comes to having a good example, our parents are not a good one in that area. And perhaps it's what their generation is about (the right oriented part at least). Buy, buy, buy, keep the machines who make it rolling and the money flowing. I suppose we still live in a society like that. As long as people get a fine for seeing use in an item someone else got rid of, we're nowhere near a different world. What a disappointment.

A Day in My Life - November

2008-11-14T13:43:00.003+01:00

I got my nice wake-up call from son at 5 (yikes!!!). He stands up in his bed when he's not in mine and calls out "maaamaaa". Especially at 5 in the morning it sounds as fingernails on a chalkboard to me. I love my kids with all my heart but I'm definitely not a morning person, lol. I was able to keep him semi-asleep for another hour, even though he was nursing constantly and pinching the back of my hand (weird soothing habit that hurts my skin) so I couldn't sleep but at least keep my eyes closed and say nothing.
Daughter also came in our bed at a crazy hour, she fell asleep again almost immediately. By 6:30 we were all awake again and talked a bit about what we did yesterday (went to the petting farm) until the kids demanded we got out to eat breakfast. Which is what we did. Our breakfast is always bread with some sort of spread, usually peanutbutter or hazelnut paste, sometimes jam or cheese. Husband and me drink tea, the kids get milk. After having breakfast husband took a shower first, I cleared the table and attempted to read the paper while laying on the bed but I ended up with one kid jumping up and down and one sitting on me, so I stopped that.
I was second to take a shower and get dressed, the kids are allowed some tv at this point because it's the only way we can both get ready as quickly as possible. Got dressed, put contacts in and helped son into a clean diaper and clothes. It was about 8:30 at that point. Daughter was next to get dressed, helped her because today is school for her. Her hair has gotten quite long so I like to put in pigtails or braids if she lets me, today we did two pigtails. She has the best hair, it's beautiful. Although she deserves many compliments for it, I don't really like it when that's all people comment on about her. I hope it won't stay that way when she grows bigger, because it's not nice to only be known for your hair.
So anyway, I took a quick cup of coffee and brushed teeth, packed bag and we left for school. Because I wanted to go downtown I took the "normal" bike and not the bakfiets, it's quicker and easier to stall in the busy centre.
We were late at school, the kids were already sitting in the circle and about to do their singing. Son and I stayed to sing along, he loves it and was dancing in the middle of the circle. He's definitely not shy about that! After saying goodbye to daughter we biked to the centre, it was drizzling so we ended up getting wet.
I was at the bookstore exactly at 10. Just to show I'm not always a penny-pincher, I was there to buy my monthly magazines, the Oprah and InStyle. Oprah was there, but it was already the december issue while I needed November and no InStyle! Argh! Now I needed to find another bookshop where they have it and it's always more expensive. The bookstore I usually go to is the cheapest and I also have a membership so I get 10% off.
After going there and leaving with just the O, I went to H&M to see if they had some nice trousers for the kids. Right now they're kind of growing out of everything and yesterday son went through 3 outfits in one day, so he needs more. I saw the coolest jeans for daughter, I have an almost indentical pair (vintage Wrangler), I had to get it for her because the denim is so soft and it's a really cool model (flare, I love flares!!!). It was more expensive than I had in mind (20 euros), but since they're so cool I bought them anyway. And a pair of those soft sweatpants for son (10 euros). After that I went to the make-up store (it's kind of like Sephora, only Sephora is way nicer, lol) because I stil had a gift certificate from my birthday. While there son fell asleep in the Ergo, nice and quiet for a bit. :-) I bought a really nice eyeshadow from Shiseido. I also have a membership there for 10% off. It's an amazing color, sort of amethyst with sparkle. I can't resist anything in the pink and purple range, this one just had my name on it!
Went to another store to get a shirt for son (50% off, 4 euros) and some cookies for the kids (whole grain with yoghurt, sounds really boring and healthy but they love it). After that we went back to the bike and cycled back to daughter's school, stopping on the way at another bookstore (yay, they had both O and InStyle for November there!) and dog food. By that time I was getting kind of irritated with all the bags and the rain so we picked up daughter and went home.
We ate and then the kids both went to bed for a little nap. Waking up so early is not good for anyone, lol.
When they were both asleep, I put in a load of laundry and made some lunch for myself with another coffee because I need it today! Now it's 14:00 and I'm on the computer typing this.
I'll be back later tonight or tomorrow to finish the day!
Daughter woke up right after 14:15, son quickly after. we had a little snack and drink. The rest of the afternoon we hang out, took the Teletubbies for a drive in their Volkswagen Beetle around the living room, got chased by a monster, danced to music, rescued Bob the Builder's girlfriend Wendy from a roof, jumped on the bed and meanwhile I was able to hang the laundry and fold what was dry, and even putting it away.
Around 18:00 husband got home, we had fried rice for diner. After diner the kids watched clips on YouTube with their dad while I walked the dog and then it was time for bed. Son was asleep around 19:30, daughter took a little longer. I did the dishes and made some coffee, I had to finish it quickly because I was meeting a friend for drinks at 20:00. I left home a bit too late, so instead of 20:00 we got to the bar at 20:30. We had a drink (I had beer and she drank wine) and talked. She's having a tough time right now, so I try to give her as much support as I can and of course let her vent. Around 22:00 I went home, had a cup of tea (peppermint) with husband and went to bed. Tired, so I fell asleep pretty quickly.
Have a great weekend!

The First Month

2008-11-13T11:56:00.007+01:00

So it's already been 1 month since I started this whole dreadlocks adventure. When I let husband took pictures and did one myself, I was kind of disappointed to see what they look like from behind. They don't resemble dreads at all! Well, I keep telling myself this is just the beginning and don't dispair, but I thought it looked way more cool than it really does, lol.
The first month went by really fast and I didn't notice much. No weird comments and no stares, but after seeing these pictures I know why, it's because nobody notices. Although my neighbour, from whom I never expected it, went totally crazy over it. She said 3 times how much she loved it, which made me very happy (of course). She doesn't look like the type of person who would like it (I don't know her very well), but I guess the outside doesn't always say everything about that person.
The mornings are really hard, because I keep freaking out over how it looks when I wake up. It's not unusual because a lot of people hate their "bedhead", dreads or not, but I get kind of panicky when I look in the mirror which isn't nice. So as soon as I get dressed I pull it back into a ponytail and forget about it all day. All in all I'm steaming ahead and hope it will get better and better each month.

Take a look, these are the pictures I think I can share :-) Notice it doesn't even look like dreads, just a rat's nest.

And how cute are those chubby toddler legs? I think there are photos of myself and everybody I know as toddlers, walking around the house or garden in rainboots and not a lot more. I guess it's just what toddlers like to do!

And my work this morning (apart from mopping the floor after "washing hands" and "helping"):

It's fig and banana pie, haven't tasted it yet so no idea if this works or not.

And this is a quiche for tonight, made with mushrooms, onion, tomato, carrot and pine nuts. Smells really good so I have to make myself eat something else for lunch! Tomorrow is the 14th again, so it'll be another "Day in my Life".
Have a great day, and it's a full moon tonight! Don't howl too loud, y'all. :-)

The Things That Make You Go Aaaaah!

2008-11-11T11:07:00.002+01:00

Just thought I'd share with you what I like to do to enjoy myself or nourish my spirit, as I put it yesterday. It can also serve as a list to go back to if I'm too tired to think. :-)

* Read. I allow myself one splurge every month; I buy Oprah Magazine and InStyle. Sometimes English Vogue as well. I love reading books too, right now I'm reading "Adventures in Gentle Discipline" (always good to try and become a better parent) and Eckhart Tolle "A New Earth". By my bed is also "Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul" so I can have a quick cry if I feel like it, lol.
I always read multiple books at once, it's no problem and I like choosing whatever I feel like.
* Sing and Dance. This works really well with my big love for Madonna and Bette Midler. My kids love dancing too, so blasting "Into the Groove" and jumping around the living room is so much fun for everybody.
* TV. I can really enjoy some nice tv. Grey's Anatomy, Sex and the City, Oprah and stuff that makes me laugh are favorites. Of course I'm always up for Leo DiC Movies too. ;-)
* Old dancemusic on my MP3player. I get so happy listening to the dance music from my clubbing days back in the early '90s. I have a zillion songs on it, but I always listen to the same ones and ignore the rest.
* Flickr. I really like looking at pictures of what other people do, what their homes look like, their dreads (and secretly compare, lol).
* Gossip. If you never look at PerezHilton, you should. It's so much fun and his writing makes me laugh. I'm not particularly interested in every bad hairday these celebs have, but it's just mindless fun.
* Food. I love chips and fries! I guess I'm a potato person. And every day I have this really nice cup of latte. It's the highlight of my morning, lol, I enjoy it so. Thinking about what we're going to have for diner or as a snack is just something I really enjoy. Luckily my weight is not an issue so it can be on this list.
* Nailpolish. I've admitted before I have a compulsion when it comes to polish and I think I have over 100 bottles and counting. I love doing my nails, it's relaxing and a beautiful result. I keep my nails short because I don't want to accidentally scratch my kids but they used to be really long. I like short better now. The colors I choose are all over the place, but pink in every shade is definitely my favorite.
* Friends. I really enjoy hanging out with other people, preferably friends. Sometimes I wish I had this one true great friend I could stop by every day if I wanted to, but alas I don't have one like that. I do have other girlfriends I get together with, I try at least once a week. Every other week one of my friends and I go to a bar on Friday night, just for 2 hours. It's long enough to have a glass of wine, some girl talk and remember we still live in a big city and not just my neighbourhood or even the street we live in. I like knowing there's lots of stuff going on even though I'm not part of it right now.
* Crafts. This is tricky because I do enjoy it immensely, but not when i can only do it for just one hour or less. And with little kids it's nearly impossible to spend more than an hour on it. I can only get out the sewing machine when they're asleep or totally wrapped up in something (which is never). So crafting can bring real pleasure but also a lot of frustration because almost every day, I wish I had more time for it.

Well, I'm sure there's more but this has to be it for now. Have a great, nourishing day!

The End of the Year Resolutions

2008-11-10T12:18:00.003+01:00

I used to be a great planner, and stuck to it. Then I had kids and it all went away. I was able to continue with our meal planning, but even that went out the door. So the past week I've been thinking about getting done more and giving the kids more structure, and I read other bloggers describing the way they manage their time. It all became clear to me: I should plan more. I usually just see what comes up in the morning, but it's not really working for me. For us.
So I've made the decision to take some time every Sunday and make a plan for the week ahead. What we'll do on what day, tasks I want to get done etc, and put it all on a list. Since I like some unexpected things I can allow myself to be flexible, but having a plan is at least something to get a handle on things. I still have lots of bad nights with too little sleep (son with 2 yr-molars coming in), and feeling really tired in the morning is not inspiring for fun activities or cleaning, lol.
The other thing I want to do is focus on things that make me happy. I mean the really nourishing-your-soul things. Some days I'm just so silly I tend to NOT have a cup of coffee even though I want to just because I don't stop and ask myself: why not? If I just slow down more and pay good attention to what my needs are and what both my spirit and body are telling me it would really make me feel good and that can only benefit me and everybody around me, right? Perhaps I fall into the (stay-at-home-)mother trap of becoming a martyr for my kids now and then, even though it's not really my personality to do so.
So I've given myself until the end of the year to practice with these resolutions and see if and how I can take this with me into the next year.
Why do we sometimes have to make things so complicated for ourselves?

Oh, thrifting finds this weekend:
- horse on a stick for daughter, or is it called a stickhorse, lol? 2 euros
- Dora the Explorer and Bob the Builder books 10 cents each
- cute blue/green checkered apron even though I never use one 50 cents
- wooden puzzle 60 cents
- pair of Lacoste sneakers for daughter 2,50 euros
- sweater of grey velours for Christmas, also for daughter 1 euro
- book for mother-in-law to thank for babysitting, 2 euros
- jeans for husband by Diesel, 4 euros
- Bob the Builder truck for son 2 euros

I just love the sneakers on daughter!! Some days you know what's wrong with your life: when your kids are better dressed than you are! It's ok though. ;-)

The Discount

2008-11-07T13:36:00.003+01:00

Have you ever bought something and asked for a discount? I don't mean getting a better price at a flea market or yard sale, but actually in a shop?
I do it whenever I see a chance. For example, this morning we bought a jacket for son. He was still walking around in a thin summercoat and even after searching online, at flea markets and the thrift store, we still couldn't find a nice one for a good price. So we went to a large store and found a jacket. It was the last one in that particular design, but it was covered in stains. Apparently another small child had tried the jacket on while eating something or it was a return. We needed a jacket today, so I said to husband: let's just ask if we can get a discount on this one. So I asked and we got 25% off the jacket. Luckily the stains can be removed in the wash.
I bought my bike a few months ago (secondhand) and asked if I was getting a weekend discount (it was on a Sunday) and because it made them laugh they said ok. I got 50 euros off the price. When we moved in here, we needed a big trash can. I got a huge discount because we picked one that had a dent in it (didn't pick it because of the dent, just noticed it while standing in line to pay).
Once I asked for a discount because a friend and I were sitting near a door that opened all the time on a freezing day in January. It got us a free coffee, but my friend felt really embarassed that I asked.
My father used to do it all the time too when I grew up, so I learnt from watching him when to ask and always bring it with a smile or a little joke. It's some sort of a favor you're asking, so charm helps tremendously. Or perhaps being fair about it and just asking in case they'll say yes? We would have bought the coat anyway this morning, so it would've been ok if they said no.
But it's also a bit of a sport. And it feels so nice when it works! I don't do it all the time though, like I said, just when my gut tells me I can or if there's an opportunity like with the jacket this morning. I never look for damaged goods just to get a better price, because by the time we decide to buy something in a store, we're ready to pay the money. Price watching and looking for cheaper options have been done before that. Try it! It's fun. :-)
We don't really have that here, but I know in the US asking for a lower interest rate on a credit card can work too.
And I know from my days in retail, a shopowner or salesperson is ok with giving a discount too, because the last one of something on the shelf needs to go, discount or not. Keeping just one item of something (damaged or not) is not what they want. In fact, selling and getting the stuff out the door is their goal in general. A discount here and there is already calculated in the selling price. It's never an insult or weird to a salesperson, if they're experienced they'll know when to say yes or ask a superior. We did it all the time where I worked and it made everybody happy. And isn't that a good thing?

PS: do not try this at Chanel or shops like that unless you're there to purchase an extensive wardrobe. :-P

The Big Empty

2008-11-06T17:29:00.003+01:00

So I think there's an answer to why people still spend money on things they don't need with money they don't have: it's because they don't know anything other to do.
Talking to husband about screen time (computer and tv), we came to the conclusion that very often we have a tendency -and I don't think we're unique in this- to just click away with the remote or mouse, not really knowing where we're going. And very often you just start, almost mindlessly, checking things out, suddenly convinced you NEED a new or a different this-or-that. Most often, it doesn't come to an actual purchase, but perhaps that's because we're too frugal for it.
When I think about never going into any shop at all unless I absolutely have to, I secretly get kind of nervous. What would I do with my time in certain situations? Of course when you really think about it there's plenty you can do, but it takes a little more effort. The first thing that comes to mind is something that costs money, usually.
When I still worked in a high-end shop, we were open almost every day of the year. Even at Christmas, people still came in to shop. I asked my collegue why she believed there were still people shopping at Christmas. She said: "because people don't want to spend two days inside with their family and there isn't anything other to do." I think she was right! The shopping streets are full of people on any given day and especially when it's a weekend or a holiday. It's kind of sad we're so culturally depleted we think of "funshopping" as a serious pastime.
I hope the current financial crisis will have one positive effect: that it helps people come up with great ideas that are free (even more than there are now, because there are if you look!) and to put more energy in their family and friends. Because if there's really nothing you can come up with apart from shopping, sitting around talking to great people is always good. :-)

The Food We Waste

2008-11-05T12:53:00.003+01:00

One of the things with little kids that sometimes bothers me, is the food you waste. I don't know how many times I've stood over the trash bin, scraping complete plates of food in there. It hurts my feelings as the one who cooked it (although I keep it a secret because it's not something to take personal if kids don't eat) and I find it so wasteful! We always encourage our kids to eat, but we don't believe in pressuring them to finish their plate or force them to eat when they say no. So a lot gets left behind when everybody has gone on to do other things.
Annually, here in Holland, we all throw away between 43 and 60 kilos of food per person. That equals 125 euros . For us that means we throw away almost two weeks of groceries (since we spend 92 euros a week on food). That's a lot!
I know our kids are still small and they will learn how much they like to eat and what, so I hope we can reduce how much we throw away over time. I think also mealplanning and not cook too much will help a lot. And perhaps be a better cook so nothing goes wrong. :-)
Ok, I have this screaming toddler hanging on my arm right now with a terrible cold so unfortunately I have to cut this short. I guess there's no time to make a final point in my story today. :-) Let's all just try to not waste too much, ok? lol

And I want to congratulate everybody in the US with a wonderful new president! Great choice!!

And for Grace at noonewatching, here's the recipe for our Dutch apple pie. No nice pictures because I haven't baked one this week, but believe me it's easy and really good. We work in grams here, but you can find a converter here.

Crust:
- 300 grams flour (all purpose, self-rising even works too)
- 100 grams sugar
- 200 grams of butter (make sure it's cold and not too soft)
- a little salt

Filling:
- 4 medium or 3 big apples (they have to be firm and somewhat sour)
- 75 grams sugar
- 100 grams of raisins
- cinnamon, to taste (I usually sprinkle until the mixture is somewhat brownish)

Preheat over at 175C/350F and butter a spring form. Flour and sugar in a bowl, put in butter and salt. Cut butter with two knives and knead with hands until you have a firm ball. Use three quarters of the dough for the bottom and sides in the springform. Let it rest in a cool place.
Cut apples, I usually do cubes, but grating or thin slices works well too. Add sugar, raisins and cinnamon. A little bit of lemon juice is nice too. Or slivered almonds. Some use other nuts in the filling: also nice. The classic recipe doesn't have nuts though.

Sprinkle some breadcrumbs (I use the really fine store-bought kind) on the bottom of the springform and put in filling. Use last part of the dough to make the strips and lay them diagonally over each other on top. You can use a bit of egg for shine too.
Put it in the oven for 75 minutes and always let it cool before you take it out the form!

The Big Anonymous

2008-11-03T12:30:00.003+01:00

Before I started a blog, I took a long time to think about it. I knew I wanted to write because I just love doing that, but the whole thing around anonimity had me worried. I'll tell you why.
I used to read a blog by a nice family. They didn't write much personal stuff, but posted pictures of themselves and things they loved. I just read, never commented or contacted them trough email or anything. After a while, they posted they were going on a trip to Europe, and also planned to visit Amsterdam. Well, Amsterdam is a big city and there are many tourists from the US. But what do you know, I was at the park with my husband and kids and there was a family with a young daughter. They spoke American and were on rental bikes. Then I spotted an item of clothing on the little girl and recognized it from the blog, there had been a post about how much they loved it, with pictures and all. After that, I heard the mother call the girl by a nickname she also used on the blog and I was sure it was them. I debated whether or not I should say hi and tell them I'm a regular visitor on their blog, but decided I wasn't going to say anything. I was scared it might freak them out, being on vacation and taking a break from blogging, so far away from home.
Two days later I saw them again at a different park and again I didn't say anything. Still worried they wouldn't like it, and my own behavior also freaked me out because I felt like a secret stalker or something.
So this whole experience got me thinking, I realized this world really is a global village (the whole six-degrees-of-separation thing is true, I know. Anyone got Leo's number? lol) and if I started blogging, I could get the same thing happening to me. I wasn't sure if I wanted that or not. The wish to write was stronger, so I started. But I'm still somewhere in the middle between wanting to be anonymous and just share everything I want to, and I guess someone who pays a lot of attention to detail could know it's me, but I haven't posted clear pictures of myself (yet). Whenever I see there have been readers from Amsterdam on the blog I get nervous. What if it's someone I know, I ask myself nervously. Because they might read here and not tell me they know how much we spend on groceries or other things. I guess it's the one-sided thing that scared me the most. You put it out there and it's out of your hands what happens, in a way. Any thoughts from you readers would be appreciated, anonymous or not. Ever had these same feelings, or met a reader who identified him/herself in an unexpected place? :-)

The First Jack O'Lantern

2008-10-31T13:40:00.009+01:00

We don't really have Halloween here, but slowly it's getting more popular. I like the idea of decorating the house and dressing up in a scary way and I can imagine how much it appeals to young children too! Daughter first thought pumpkins were called Halloween, she'd say: "look, a Halloween!" Funny, those toddler things.
So of course I never grew up with the tradition of carving a pumpkin and putting a light in it, but I saw such beautiful pictures of it on Flickr, I just had to try myself.
So this was the result:

Turned out quite nicely, if I say so myself.
Here's a picure in the dark, I love how that looks!

But then you discover there's still so much to learn. :-) I totally forgot you can't keep a pumpkin looking like that (unless perhaps you do all sorts of things I don't know about) and so as the week went on, the Jack O'Lantern was starting to look more scary every day. So now we have this, looking like a shrivelled, teethless old monster:

At first I thought I was going to put it outside by the front door, but then I figured since it's not common here, the little candle inside might provoke some idiots to start a fire so I'm not going to do it. But still I wish everybody a happy Halloween!!!

The Chemical Smell

2008-10-29T13:38:00.002+01:00

When we go thrifting, we buy clothes a lot. For ourselves and the children. There's one thing that always annoys me about secondhand clothes: the smell of fabric softener. One could say I should be happy it smells like fabric softener and not mold or just "old", but that chemical smell straight from the bottle: I'm done with it. I used to use fabric softener too, because I thought it made our clothes smell nice. I stopped using it after a few allergic reactions and found using vinegar works soooo much better (and cheaper too!) and I intend to never ever use it again. If you Google it, you will find lots of info on how bad it is, for the environment but also because some contain formaldehyde (or related to it) which can cause all sorts of health problems.
Of course 98% of the people still use it, so the secondhand clothes smell like it very often. I don't like the smell of it anymore. Sometimes I pass someone and smell that chemical "fresh" scent, and think: I'm glad I don't smell like that anymore!
Some clothes take up to three washes to get out the smell, which only confirms to me what nasty stuff it is. Last month we bought a pair of those Crocs Georgie boots for daughter, and I had to put them outside because they smelled to strong! I guess the previous owner wanted the boots clean and threw them in with the wash (which I do too with Crocs) and they got the softener smell that way.
So to everybody who uses it: it doesn't smell nice! But if you choose to use it anyway, go ahead of course. :-)

The Spending in Numbers

2008-10-28T13:28:00.003+01:00

I promised to talk about our budget and spending ages ago, and it took me a while to get all the numbers done. Finally, I finished it yesterday and talked about it with husband last night.
I shall try to be as specific as possible, but I prefer not to talk too much about exact numbers. I was raised with the old "don't talk about money" adagio, and although I don't believe in that a 100% anymore, I would feel akward if I told how much husband makes and such. Call me crazy, but hey, I hope what I share will still help somewhat for those who are making a budget or trying to stick to one. And also, a little disclaimer: I know what seems little to some might be a lot for somebody else. So if I call something "not a lot", I don't mean to disrespect anybody and am aware this might be crazy to someone else. We all have our own life and reality, this is mine. :-)

First, let me describe what I did. I got all our bankstatement from the past 18 months, up to September '08. It's from the bank account we use for paying all of our bills and spending. Savings is separate and I didn't include that. I wanted to really know how much we spend and on what. We had a fairly rough budget we made 2 years ago, like 50 euros for groceries every week. But there are four of us now, and we all eat. Son will eat more than daughter actually, so he costs more. ;-) So I wanted to see numbers. Also husband expressed the wish to work one day less every week, so if he does it means his income will also decrease. We wanted to know if this is feasable or not.
So I made different columns, I used these:
- mortgage and housing costs
- insurance (health and other, except car)
- utility (gas, water and electricity)
- food
- cash
- clothes & shoes (also includes hairdresser, hairproducts and make-up)
- dog
- media (phone, internet, newspaper)
- car (insurance, tax and gas)
- purchases (big things, vacations)
- misc. (drugstore, post office, bookstore, etc)

For every month, I looked at the bank statements of that month and wrote down what we spend in each column. I did this per month per category, then added it up and divided by 18, the amount of months I went through. That way I got the average amount each month. I also did this with salary and other income to see what the average income each month was. I hope this makes sense. Of course this is not a complete picture. We've sold things people came to pick up and paid for in cash for example. I know this, but I think this data should be about 95% accurate for us.

When I did the same calculations 2,5 yrs ago, we were shocked to find out how much cash we took out every week. We agreed to pay more with our debit card (called PINpas here) so we could keep better track of where the money went and we would work on spending less in that category. This time we did so much better, this was reduced to half the amount it was 2,5 yrs ago. This is still something to work on though, because it's a fast way to keep down the spending. Carrying cash usually means we spend it more freely and it's gone so quickly. :-)
Costs of the mortgage, insurance and utilities are fixed, nothing we can do about that. We refinanced our mortgage to a lower rate last year which means we pay a lot less than before, and we got a nice deal on the gas and electric bill but it stays the same for now. It's the largest chunk of our money every month, but we've done what we can to bring that down. Of course we try to be aware of electric and gas usage!
Clothes and shoes was really a surprise to me. For the four of us, we spend an average of 110 euros a month. I thought that was way more. I guess our thrifting pays off big time here.
The dog costs 43 euros each month. This includes food and treats, flea + worm treatments and vet bills. It used to be less, but we switched to fresh meat instead of kibble. He is in much better condition and has perfect teeth for his age (10 or 11). As a senior dog we feel this is best for him so we're not looking to change this. These costs will stay the same.
Media, 100 euros. We looked into that last night but we already have the best quality (maximum speed for the internet, best phone deal etc) for the best price and we don't want to give up the paper. So this cannot change either. Perhaps no longer keeping a landline, but I don't want that.
In general, the two biggest surprises were food and purchases. Food is 92 euros a week. Although it's not too bad for a family of four who try to eat organic a lot, it was still more than we had in mind. I think we will need to get even better at making a list and sticking to it and get back to a weekly meal planner. I used to do that, but the though of knowing on Monday what was for diner on Friday got to me after a while so I stopped. It does help keeping cost down though!
Purchases, well. This was not very good news. We went on vacation for a week twice in the past 18 months so that was included, we bought a new fridge and a new tv and there are more big purchases we did. Husband is really really good at checking prices and finding the best deal, but still this is such a lot of money every time. I think our fault here is that we don't budget for it. My idea is to try and have more of a bird's eye view for the year ahead so we can decide what needs replacement and when. And although I've turned these purchases into a monthly cost, some are actually a one-time only, and some will pay for itself. Like our fridge. The old one was over 15 years old (came with the house) and was not energyfriendly. With this new one we save about 100 euros on electricity a year, which means the fridge pays for itself well within 5 years. So it's not completely fair to see this category in the monthly budget, but I think it will do us good to do it anyway. :-)
Miscellanious is another category with lots of room to spend less. It's where all the loose ends, the impulse buys, the not-really-needed stuff ends up. I guess this calls for even less shopping and more thinking. :-) It wasn't really bad though, and also much less than 2,5 yrs ago.
So all in all, the really good news was we spend less than we make (I won't say how much, but it's over 100 euros) so that's wonderful, but there is still room for more cutting and shaving. We can't call ourselves frugal if we didn't. Hope this information helped some of you, let me know in the comments if anything's not clear.

The Thrifted Finds

2008-10-27T13:06:00.006+01:00

This weekend we did some thrifting, Friday at the thrift store we usually go to. Every time we go there, we try to drop off something too, this day it was a stack of puzzles daughter is no longer interested in, and some other small things.
We bought:
- a sleeping bag for son, 50 cents
- 3 Miffy books, 80 cents each
And I got these (50 cents each):

I love the pattern on the right one and the left is a nice color and very soft cotton. Usually these kind of scarfs are polyester, so I liked that this one is from a natural material (and made in Italy). I'm not sure if I'll wear them. Every time I tell myself it looks cute around my head, but then when I try it itches and I feel it looks silly so I take it off again. :-)

Yesterday we went to a flea market, quite a nice one which we didn't expect. We've been there before and it was mostly professional sellers then, but this time there were lots of sellers with their own "junk".
We bought a pair of rainboots (1 euro) for son, he needs them because there's so much rain these last couple of days. Bright red, he loves them! Daughter got a few small items, she can choose one or two little things and she's really good at that.
I bought this Tiffany-style lantern (2 euros). I've been wanting one for ages and finally found the right one! I love it for the upcoming dark months and holidays.

And although I didn't plan on buying shoes, I found a great vintage pair. Normally I never buy vintage shoes, the thought those shoes are so old and worn by (perhaps many) people before me puts me off. But these just spoke to me, so I listened. They're still in excellent condition and with the patent leather I think they're timeless in a way (although it's obvious they're not recent). I like them, and they're quite comfortable too. I paid 4 euros after haggling a bit. :-)

So we got some nice things and didn't spend too much money. Husband bought some electronic device but as the remote was missing it needs some work to see if he can resell it (which is why he bought it). Because we bought these things, I guess this also means we need to get rid of a few things again! I have a pair of shoes that was already nominated to go, so they're definitely out now. :-)
I finished calculating all of our spending of the past 18 months this morning. I want to go over them with husband tonight so I'll do a post about that tomorrow.
Bye for now!

The Dark Night

2008-10-23T12:32:00.006+02:00

This Saturday there's a wonderful initiative here in Holland. It's called "Night of the Night" (for those in Dutch: Nacht van de Nacht ). It's to attract attention to something you experience if you live in a more urban environment: light pollution. Apparently it's no longer dark at night! It's true, I notice it myself when I walk our dog late at night. Sometimes I want to look at the stars and I can't see them because it's so light! Street lights, lights that illuminate buildings, commercial signs, traffic lights, and lights coming out of the houses all make the night less dark. Last year we saw a show on tv where they would drive around at night and press the intercom of an office building that had the lights on at 3 in the morning, yelling: "please turn off the lights!!!" Hilarious, but also a significant question: why should the complete building be illuminated if there's nobody (or perhaps a few poor souls) inside working?
When I grew up I lived in a rural area, a little village. It was very dark there at night. I used to watch the stars with my dad and he would tell me which one was which, and I loved it. I still like to be able to see it once in a while or tell my kids about it when they're big enough. All it needs is a bit of darkness!
What sounds a bit ironic to me is the fact that Holland has many many greenhouses used to grow vegetables and flowers. Those greenhouses have the lights on day and night. This industry is working on their waste of energy through many ways, but isn't very far yet. The eco systems around those greenhouses get disrupted, even animals and people living close by notice a difference. Those areas that have many greenhouses produce so much light it can even be seen from space! Isn't that crazy? When you drive around in such an area at night, the sky is completely orange.
So I think this is a wonderful initiative, and definitely something that doesn't get a lot of attention. Don't we all deserve a dark night?

(image from the Hubble Telescope, credit: NASA)

The New Trend

2008-10-22T13:20:00.003+02:00

I think I've spotted a trend that's growing very fast. It's something we can all benefit from, that creates community and helps people do more with less. It's easy, everybody can do it and also a lot of fun, even for practical things.
It's called trading. Or swapping. I've seen new tv shows about it (Twiggy's Frock Exchange on the BBC for example), online communities have trade threads on message boards, there are swap parties for clothes all over the city here so there must be lots in other places too and have you heard of the LETSystem (Local Exchange Trading Systems)? You can join an existing network (or set one up yourself) of people who all want to swap/trade. It can be anything, from a haircut to having your curtains hemmed. All you have to do is pitch in with something you are good at and somebody else wants to give his or her points for. If you don't know it, check it out because it's a great system. I'm thinking of joining so I can get someone to help with our bathroom. It has a huge hole in the wall that's been there for a few years now (don't ask) and it needs to get fixed. I can sew or bake apple pie, those two skills must help me make some points!
I think everybody has something they can trade, whether it's material or a skill they posess. But personally, I would be a little embarassed to ask someone I already know if they want to trade something. Silly, isn't it? But I don't think I'm the only one who's somewhat afraid to ask a friend or neighbour for a trade, or else these networks wouldn't be such a success. But to me it seems like such a great solution to avoid this whole money thing, especially in times like this. And it's also nice to meet new people!

And here's a picture of my head at 1 week of dreads. As you can see the ends are not tangled very well anymore so I'm working on that whenever I get a chance. I've also put in two beads for fun and hold some hair together. I tend to think it looks pretty good but not so when I see this picture. ;-) It takes time and patience, I know! Oh, and can you tell how small our bathroom is? I'm standing between the wall and the bathtub/shower. I'm facing the toilet and with my back to the mirror, that's it. Stampsize, we call it. :-) Have a great day!

The Idea Machine

2008-10-21T11:18:00.002+02:00

I'm a huge idea person. I have so many ideas every day it can really drive me crazy sometimes. If my neighbour tells me casually he's sick of his job, my head starts working to see if I can come up with the job of his dreams. If I trip over a shoe, the ideas about where and how to store them start flowing.
The problem with these ideas is that I do not wish to really execute them. Most of them are just meant to be an idea for someone else to use (or not). If there's an idea that I feel is really important to me, it still takes forever to actually DO it. Because I just love the ideas and work-in-progress stages so much, I think.
This whole idea thing has gotten me into trouble lots of times. I've disappointed people who thought I would set up a business with them, work on projects that were my idea and the other person really loved (I just loved the idea of it, lol). I've done suggestions at work (when I still worked in the legal trade) and got appointed as the person to do it. *Argh!* There's nothing worse for me than having to work on an idea I had for somebody else!
Recently I've started to write down all my ideas instead of offering them (unasked, I'm amazed people still talk to me) to everybody around me. It works wonders! It's so much fun to go through my notebook and see an idea I had a few days ago and read it, just to come up with even more and new ideas. I know I have to choose a few projects and see them through to the end just so I can have something that's more than an idea, but it's really hard choosing sometimes.
I wonder what my kids get from this idea machine of a mother, I hope they have some of my persistance (which I also have) to not stay stuck in ideas. It's so much fun but can also be a nuisance and not every productive. Or perhaps we should value ideas more in this society?

About the budget; I can't find a few bank statements I need to finish. I should make more time also, but the past few days there hasn't been enough. I'm still working on it, the post I promised is delayed a bit. Sorry about that!
Tomorrow the dreads are on my head for 1 week already, wow. I've taken a few pictures, hopefully they look good enough to post (yes, I'm vain). It's such an interesting process. I've made it into a meditation to watch my mind keep going back and forth between "horrible idea, I hate it" to "this is so cool and easy!". As long as those thoughts keep coming and going I'm keeping them. :-)

The Egg Cuber

2008-10-17T13:41:00.006+02:00

A while ago ApronThriftGirl asked about the weirdest or funniest item her readers ever thrifted. I had to think for a while, but then it popped up: the egg-cuber!!
I bought the thing a few years ago (thrift store, the tag says 1,80 euros) because I thought it was just an hilarious item. Have you ever seen it? It looks like this:

I thought it would be extremely funny to present someone a square boiled egg, but I've never tried it. And it's only funny just once.
To me this item is just one of those things from the era when entertaining was still a really big deal and sherry was hugely popular. Think that movie "Far From Heaven", but a little less depressing. I can imagine a lovely made up housewife, expecting company as the highlight of her week, cutting square slices of egg to put on toast with a little parsley on top, smiling to herself because this invention makes the egg fit perfectly on the toast (wait, that sounds depressing too!). ;-)
The cuber goes great with my Couroc serving tray which might be of the same era:

I really like this tray, found it a thrift store 6 months ago. It was only 1 euro, and we use it a lot in the morning for all our jars of peanut butter and other spreads at the breakfast table. I even hoped it would be worth something on Ebay, but it doesn't really. There are Couroc collectors I found out, but this particular design is not very rare or special. So I'm keeping it and using it too! The egg cuber I don't know. I'll probably save it, and one day when it all seems dark and gloomy and my husband feels really bad, I might present him with a square boiled egg. That would surely save the day!
Have a great weekend and happy thrifting if you're going (we are)!

The Dready Do and Numbers

2008-10-16T13:59:00.005+02:00

When I woke up after putting the dreadlocks in yesterday, I was sure they were all gone. I let my husband try backcombing a month ago and all we did that evening came undone during my sleep. But I looked in the mirror this time and there was still everything as I (sort of) left it when I went to bed. Yikes! During the day I worked on it some more and even at night to get them all done and so I'm totally finished today. This is what it looks like now -please look away if you are afraid of spiders because it looks like I have a giant one on my head ;-)-

This morning it was all still in place although I ripped one in two during the night because it really hurt! It was holding two strands together that didn't want to be joined. I went to our LLL meeting and only one mother (who is also a friend) said she really liked it (only one,boohoo).
I went out looking like this:

I've read of other people who have done this, and each person has their own reasons for going this route. I thought about why I wanted to do this, and my feeling is that it's a great exercise in unlearning to be a control freak, because this hair is obviously out of my hands. It has to do what it wants to do and I have to let it. Hopefully it will help me, as a perfectionist, to accept that it will not be perfect, it will be its own version of perfect. And I will have to let the media run by me with their "shiny smooth hair" commercials. I was sick of my hair for a long time, it was either this or the GI Jane style, which my husband worried about ("you will look like you have a serious illness"). So this will be an interesting experiment. I noticed my mind going from "what have I done!!!!" to "this is actually pretty cool!" all within an hour.
It also hurts and itches. I'll try to come with updates regularly.

I'm also working on calculating what we spent our money on in the past 18 months. I write everything down in several columns, add it all up and see if we overspent or if we saved and what we spend on different things (car, food, big purchases, clothing). So far I can tell we spend way more on food than we anticipated. When I last did this about 2,5 years ago, the big surprise was our cash withdrawals. We definitely worked on that but apparently it's food now.
I'll think of a few more things to say about that, see what my number crunching will tell me and do a post about it early next week.
Thanks to everybody who came to read about my day, I know a lot came through Jenny's site and I didn't even post a link back to her. To those interested in reading other bloggers describe their day, it's here. Scroll to the end of the page and you'll see the other participants.
Hope you have a great Thursday!

A Day in My Life - October

2008-10-14T13:25:00.004+02:00

I don't know what time it was when son woke me up this morning. I think it was before 6. He has been sleeping so poorly the past few days I'm really exhausted. I lost count somewhere, but I think he woke me up at least 3 or 4 times during the night. He's having a cold, which is probably the cause of his crappy sleeping.

I managed to stay in bed for another while, son was drinking his milk and talking to us or himself in his own bed. When daughter came to our bedroom she told us it was time to get up.
We had breakfast, I really felt bad and sleepy. Around 7:30 I took a shower and got dressed. While husband showered and got ready I dressed the kids and make a quick shopping list. After that I took the dog for a walk, husband made sure daughter was also fully dressed (she was still dancing around without pants).

Around 8:45 we went on the bakfiets to take daughter to school. I also brought along shopping bags and my list to go to the supermarket after that, son too of course. :-)
Daughter really loves her preschool, she runs off the minute we walk in. Usually me and son stay for a little while so she can get settled. After about 10 or 15 minutes I tell her goodbye.
Son and me went to the supermarket, got all we needed. He asked me a few times if he could look at the icecreams, so I parked the cart in front of the deep freezers there so he could see. He loved it, but we weren't buying any. I'm strict! ;-) I bought enough to get us through the week, we probably need to go again on Friday or Saturday for some dairy and vegetables. The total was 54 euros, which is about average for a weeks worth of groceries for us.
We got home with all our stuff around 10. We put it all away, and finally it was time for my coffee! I only drink one cup a day (I also have one at night but that's decaf) and still I get a headache when I don't drink that one cup somewhere between 9 and 11. It annoys me but I hate to quit and endure the withdrawal. :-)
After the break son wanted to see an Oswald the Octopus story on tv. He has a slight addiction at the moment so me as enabler let him watch. While he was watching I changed the sheets etc on the beds and folded some laundry. After he was done watching, son helped me fold and I helped him play with the stuff he was bringing me, like the Winnie-the-Pooh treehouse. We got it at a flea market and both my kids really like playing with it. I would never buy this new because I dislike Winnie and his whole Disney crew, but for the 3 euros we paid I think the kids can have lots of fun with it.
At 11:45 we went back on the bakfiets again to pick up daughter. Son was really tired, he was crying a bit and didn't want to come. It's hard for him but he has to stay awake a little bit later than usual on daughter's schooldays.
When we got home we had grilled cheese sandwiches and the kids had milk. After that son went to sleep pretty quickly. Daughter was reading in bed, I made myself another sandwich (still hungry) and some tea, turned on the washer with the dirty sheets and started typing up this.
It's quiet now in daughter's room, she fell asleep. ;-)

After I turned off the computer I went outside on the balcony to hang the sheets to dry. It was sunny but no wind, it will probably take a long time to dry.
I went into the bedroom to lay down with son who was still asleep. I layed there for a few minutes and got up to stare in the mirror that's there. After staring at my face (do I see wrinkles?) and convincing myself Leonardo DiC. wil definitely call me (any day now!) ;-) I acted on impulse, took a strand of hair and tried to make a dreadlock. It worked, so I made another one. Then daughter woke up and shortly after, son too.
We had a drink and a snack and while we talked a bit and wondered around the house I looked for an old budget calculation I made 2 years ago. It was all expenses and income addded up and divided, to see what we spent our money on and if there was anything left (there wasn't at that time). I wanted to start another for the past 18 months. I couldn't find them, so I just took the bank statements and notepad into the living room. The kids wanted to draw while I wrote the numbers down, we did that for a while, perhaps an hour on and off? I can never do anything without getting interrupted, someone is always asking for help, a snack, a drink, something to picked up off the floor, another piece of paper etc. I think it's ok because I'm doing something for myself, but also together with them at the same time.
After doing the numbers and drawing, the kids ran around with stuff and books, I made another dreadlock. I figured there's no way back, and I can't walk around with just 3. I mean I could, but I don't want to.
Playtime over, so it was time to play at the sink. Another favorite thing to do here, it takes an hour easily, to just splash and hold hands under the running water. I started diner around 16:30, chopped vegetables for the pasta.
Cooked diner while kids ran around and watched some more tv (yes, I know I use it as a babysitter sometimes). When husband got home (18:00) we ate and after diner it was time for a bath. While son and daughter were in the tub, I made another dreadlock. It's not actually a dreadlock though, just a bunch of backcombed and twisted hair right now. :-)
Usually after bath the kids can do some requests on the computer. We either hear music or watch music videos on YouTube. They drink some hot milk and after the music go to bed. They were both asleep around 19:45.
After doing dishes husband and myself had some coffee with a small piece of apple pie. I drink it with lots of hot milk, and decaf coffee.
Went back into the bathroom to do another few dreadlocks, I walked back and forth to the tv and the bathroom until about 22:15. We picked up everything and I walked the dog (wore a cap just in case, lol) and it was brushing teeth, taking out dogfood from the freezer, and lights out!!

The Air We Breathe

2008-10-13T12:58:00.004+02:00

This morning I was using black dye to color a cardigan. It smelled really horrible and the package warned not to inhale the fumes. I tried not to, and it made me think of my job at a store a few years ago. The store selled lots of "discount products" from China. It came into the store in big boxes sealed in plastic on wooden pallets. We had to open all the boxes and take out the stuff to put it in the store. The smells that would come of these products in the boxes was so intense, sometimes it literally took our breaths away. There was no ventilation or even a window we could open in the storage part of the store, so often we had to walk out just to get some fresh air. I'm sure the fumes we inhaled while opening these boxes were toxic. Luckily I didn't work there very long, but what about the people who do?
I read somewhere a few years ago, that people who live near a highway (which is more common in this tiny country than elsewhere) live almost 5 years shorter than average. This due to the fine dust particles in the air which can cause cancer and stress related to noise.
And another one: children who have asthma can get an attack because of the cleaners used in the home. Not only the air carries toxic fumes, the dust around the house also contains toxic residue that leaks away from things like tv and computer. Another reason to kick myself in the behind with to vacuum every day. :-)
What about the dye I used on my hair for so many years? I used to color my hair about every six weeks. What toxic stuff did I put into my hair but also absorbed it through my skin? I inhaled it too, while I rinsed my hair in the shower.
And my big love of nailpolish? It smells so bad and strong too. Even the remover without acetone is bad. It all goes up into the air in our living room!
The official advice from the government here is too ventilate the house 24 hours a day. And this makes a lot of sense when you think about what can float around!
Some newly built houses here have windows that can't open. They have an automatic ventilation system. Apart from the fact that it would make me really claustrofobic, I wouldn't like "fresh" air come to my living room through a pipe with filters! I would want it straight from the source right outside my window. :-) Our apartment is made in 1935. We have little vents we can open right under the ceiling. I can see the sky when I peek through it. Works wonders! And of course our windows can open too.
My parents-in-law have an air purifier that cleans the air. When it detects bad particles in the air the light turns red and the machine starts working. It cleans the air and the light turns green. No idea if this is real and has scientific research behind it, but whenever I look at that machine it's on red an awful lot of times!
Air, clean air. It's something we take for granted a lot of times, and there are days we worry about it.
Oh, tomorrow all participants are doing another "Day in my Life". So am I! See you tomorrow. :-)

The Clothes On Our Backs

2008-10-10T13:36:00.004+02:00

This morning I went to a sample sale. It's nice to have friends from school who are still in the fashion industry, because they let you know when their company or others they know of are selling their samples. It's basically the same collection that is in the stores right now, but the clothes have been sent from the factory to the company as samples of the originals sketchings/patterns. The design team looks at it and makes alterations, or takes notes and send that back to the factory. The samples are also used for fashion shows and photo shoots (because these are made way before the collections hit the stores) and to show to buyers from various stores, or sometimes just leftovers.
I've been to sample sales of really big brand names, it's crazy there. Since the company wants to get rid of all these samples the prices are really low, so it attracts a big crowd. Some you can just walk into, others are by invitation only. I've bought some really nice stuff for myself, husband and children over the years. The clothes from those sales can really jazz up the thrifted finds, because it's always from the recent collections. :-)
The one I went to this morning was clothing made out of organic cotton. Did you know cotton is responsible for almost 25% of all the pesticides used in the world? That people who work in the fields can have all sorts of health problems because of these pesticides? Obviously clothes from organic cotton are more expensive, but it's really good quality and feels nice to spend the money on. It's a good thing big stores are also selling organic lines more and more. Hopefully the cheap stuff that requires the pesticides to keep the price down will become less over time and perhaps disappear entirely one day! The dye used for coloring the cotton is also very harmful, even the ones used on organic cotton. And some of it is still made in far from ideal working situations in countries where many don't have a choice.
If you think about it, the chain of "wrong" things can be so long, from the origins of the material to the final person who puts it on the shelf in the store, it becomes almost depressive. We all have to choose where we stand and do our best as much we can, there's nothing more. Things can only really really change totally if it is taken care of by the governments all over the world. Until then what we all do as mere mortals is a really good thing we all need to stick to, one day at a time.
Have a great weekend!

The Random Pictures

2008-10-08T15:46:00.009+02:00

Yesterday I took the kids to the park since the weather was really nice. We saw 2 squirrels. Son stood under the tree and said: "where did it go?". It was really cute. I never saw squirrels when I was young, I lived near the sea and they don't live there or are hidden. Since living here in the more quiet part of the city I've seen them quite often. The way they move sort of scares me, but they look cute and the kids love them!
This is was what we took home:

Today some of what we found inspired daughter to a work of art, but it resulted in painting her hands. Isn't it wonderful being a toddler?

And here is my hair. I haven't combed it in, what is it, 3 months? Still not happening much as you can see. Just a lot of frizz but nothing that resembles knotting, locking or anything remotely dreadlock-like. Husband tried the backcombing but he couldn't do it, so until I figure out who can help or do it myself I'm going the neglect route. It's not going very fast and I'm impatient! :-)

Here is the fish garland (is that the correct word? it sounds nice!) I worked on a while ago. I've made several of these in the last 2 years and gave them as gifts when someone I knew had a baby. I intend to make a few more and also put them in the Etsy shop.

Well, enough with the random pictures for today. Bye for now!

The Food for Thought

2008-10-07T10:26:00.003+02:00

Do you ever have those days where you just don't feel right? Like I have right now. There's a pile of laundry up to the ceiling, the fridge is totally empty and we have no bread anymore (I'm hungry too!), son woke up this morning at 5 or something like that after waking up twice during the night as well, I feel like cr*p, I want to work on my dolls but I'm too tired to get up and get everything out, Leo DiCaprio still hasn't called me (haha, lame joke, I know) and I feel like hanging out with a really cool girlfriend but I don't have one. :-)
So enough of this whining. I think I'm going to the supermarket later on and buy us some nice stuff. Usually I try to be frugal and just buy things that are on sale that week, but I haven't been eating enough fruit the past few weeks because all that's on sale are apples and I'm not a big fan of those. Sometimes I forget how important food really is. We cook homemade meals every day, but somehow we just have enough on our plates. I mean, it's not a full table with 3 different dishes or choices. So I think perhaps we don't eat enough, which results in getting tired quicker, moodiness, snacking unhealthy things etc. If we cook so there's enough to have 2 servings (if we want) or leftovers for the next day it might benefit us all. I have taught myself to eat just a little under what I really want, I read somewhere ages ago that it's better. Don't know if that's true, but with kids who are still growing there needs to be (more than) enough and different choices too I suppose. It is difficult though, because we have set a budget for food and we still toss things that got spoilt because we didn't eat it. So where's the balance? I guess we should try and see what happens.

The Hardest Job On Earth

2008-10-06T12:04:00.004+02:00

Another "let's be honest" blog post today. :-)
I've seen Oprah say a lot of times how being a mother is the hardest job on earth. I don't know if that's true, but it sure is difficult! You have to take care of a child by feeding, clothing, putting it to bed on time, but also teach the skills they need in life and helping them become responsible adults with a healthy self-esteem. I think at this point in my children's life my main task is making sure they are fed, dressed and rested and don't kill themselves while attempting neck-breaking stunts, lol.
I don't know if I'm the only one, I think not, but I can get so insecure sometimes! Like watching the neighbours take off with their kids this morning, each one with their own daughter (separate, just happened to see both of them leave). I wondered if I'm a boring mother or even a bad one because I stay home a lot more than they do. Then I figured since I have two, it's more difficult to do fun outings where everybody enjoys themselves, so it takes more planning for us to do these things. And now that I'm on it, let's talk about those "perfect little angels". Why am I always the only one running after my kids? Why do the neighbours daughters always stay by their mommy? The lady across the street even lets her daughter wait by the door and runs back upstairs to the apartment to get something! I could NEVER do that, mine would run into the first car that passes. And all the kids are the same age, so that's not it.
A few examples. Neighbour #1: "Oh, we can take her out to a restaurant, no problem. She sits with us and loves to eat her food." My response: "Huuuuh? You get to go to a restaurant other than McD's AND you get to eat?" Neighbour #2: "yes, she loves riding the bike. She just stays on it and circles the living room for hours. " My response: "What? So you mean she does something she enjoys and does it longer than 2 minutes without screaming or destroying anything?" Neighbour #1: "yes, I love having your kids here because it's good for S. She learns how to do handle other kids." My thought (never said it): HANDLE other kids? So does this mean my kids are here to help yours learn instead of having fun together? Neighbour #1: "She always stays by my side. Last week we went to a big department store and we had cake together!" My response: "Excuse me? So you mean she sat with you to eat cake at that fancy department store downtown and she remained seated quietly to eat? So you got to eat some cake too and didn't have to leave the place embarassed, sweaty and frustrated with a screaming kid under your arm?" 'Nuff said, I think. *sigh*
Why does my son hit or poke other's kids eyes sometimes? I don't even know what's normal anymore. Is it normal what my kids do or are they out-of-control brats? Or is it totally normal they're active and boisterous and "perfect little angels" are being babied too much so they have less intiative?
I'm always a firm believer in the thought that says to just go with what your gut or heart tells you, but the thoughts keep coming. Is attachment parenting being too permissive? Is it wrong to keep telling your kids it's not ok to hit and leave it at that or do you need more serious measures?
I wish kids came with a manual. That way we all knew what to do and what would work best for the child involved. But it isn't so. Instead we go along with whatever happens and hope we're doing right. And until answers will reveal themselves I just cling to the thought those "perfect little angels" will become hopeless when they hit puberty and mine will just be themselves, exactly what I'm hoping for them. Not to be evil or anything, it just makes me feel better. ;-)

The Digital Dump

2008-10-03T13:55:00.005+02:00

Look at what I ran into a while ago when I turned a corner. I was so surprised and somewhat shocked (call me naive, it's ok) to see this. I took pictures with my phone and got lots of weird looks. I just had to capture this because I had read stories about electronic waste in the paper recently.

According to Greenpeace, only 15% of electronics are recycled. Since it is illegal to export it, they get shipped to Africa as secondhand, but they go to the dump almost immediately after getting there. Over there, everything gets taken apart (by children too *sigh*) by hand, despite the toxins in these appliances and sold for the metal that comes out and other things that will make money. Please take a look at the photo essay about this here. It's pretty disturbing to watch these photos and know it all comes from Western countries mostly. About 79% of the digital waste there comes from us, basically. Isn't it sad? I wonder if that dumpster I shot will end up there too. If you've never seen "The Story of Stuff" on YouTube, go there now and see it. It really explains why these dumpsters with digital waste even exist. It's all about the newest models! And a lot of us fall for it. We did too, with our new flatscreen tv. But at least we sold our old one to a family who are really happy with it and didn't just throw it out at the curb. I think I saw at least 5 old-style computer monitors while cycling through the city this morning, waiting to be picked up by the trash truck. Everybody gets rid of these and nobody wants them anymore. I suppose even thrift stores don't want them because they'll never sell them anyway.
Remember how happy we all were with our first computer or video recorder? It's hysterical watching these old photos or talk about how we had to play a game on the computer using a huge floppy disk. Technology doesn't stop, but I really hope manufactures will start thinking more and more about not only selling the newest models, but also taking back and recycling the old ones. And do something about those wires! Everything wireless and recycled please. Thank you. :-)

The Crochet Craft

2008-10-02T12:35:00.008+02:00

A while ago I posted a picture of one of the blankets I crocheted and gotten some really nice comments about it. I was thinking some of you might enjoy seeing some other things I've made.

This was my first attempt at free-style crochet. As you can see I added too many stitches around the figures so it got all wobbly. But I like how it turned out with the black and blue outlines and the colors on a white background. In wintertime this blanket is sometimes on my daughter's bed. She call the multi-colored rabbit a dog. :-)

This is a detail of the same blanket. It's a bird in case you can't tell ;-) It can give you an idea of how I worked.

This is one (right side) I made for my son's bed, he sleeps under it during the winter. It's not really a "boy" blanket though. This one is almost perfectly flat, so I definitely learned. I kept the colors much darker, possible because I made this in the winter right before he was born at the end of January. Looking at it now I realize the picture is quite dark, so from left to right you see circles, an owl, a cactus,the sun, a bunch of grapes, our greyhound, two fishes, two worms, toadstools, a snail, a cup of tea and a pear (but most of it fell out of the picture).

This is the other side (left), I couldn't get it all in one picture.

And I still have a stack of these. I continued making the faces after I finished the "Colors of the World" blanket (seen here). Still not sure what to do with them. Since many people like them it makes sense to save them for the upcoming Etsy shop. Perhaps I should sew them together in groups of 4 and make them into pillows? Suggestions welcome.

So this is it. Right now I'm not really doing any crochet, I finished the toadstool cushion and stopped at that last week. I might come up with something again when I feel the urge, it comes and goes and I just go along. Hope you enjoyed seeing all this! :-)

The Family Ties

2008-10-01T12:49:00.004+02:00

These scissors and a small felted duck (not pictured because I don't know where I left it at this moment) are all that I have of my grandmother (my father's mother). They're actually called "pinking shears", made by Bell in the 1950s. I threw out the box just a few years ago because it was torn and fell apart, but I consciously looked at it from all sides before I did just to remember what it looked like.
I have hardly any memories of my grandmother. My first memories start when she was already sick, she had Alzheimers. So the times I visited her in the nursing home where she lived, together with my father and grandfather, what she said didn't make sense to me and I don't remember her looking at me or asking me questions. I remember buying chocolate with my grandfather for her, the really really dark kind that tasted almost bitter. My father hasn't told me much about her either. I know she married my grandfather when he became a widower from his first wife, and he was alone with two small boys. She married into a complete family and went on to having two more children, my father and my aunt. I don't know what kind of a woman and mother she was, and I wonder what her life was like before she met my grandfather.
What I do know is that my creative side must come from her (at least a lot of it), because my father, my aunt and my cousins are all somewhat alike, we all create things in one way or another. As a child I had lots of stuffed animals made by my grandmother. Knowing she made them and that she wasn't alive anymore always kind of scared me, but I still remember what all the animals looked like. They were really well made, and cute too. When I left home to go live on my own, I took the small felted duck because it was small and it really showed how talented she was. And since I went to study fashion, I took the pinking shears because it really comes in handy when sewing, obviously.
So whenever I'm using these shears (just did this morning which inspired this post!), they make me think of my grandmother and what she made while using them. It's really a miracle that although we never talked, and I know hardly anything about her, I have some of her DNA in me, and this creative side that lets me make things. It connects me to my family and their history, passing it on to the next generation. How will the creativity flow from their hands? What shape will it take in their lives?
Because I use her shears and think of what she made, I still feel close to her as if she's standing behind me watching what I do. Perhaps she does, if you choose to believe in the spirit world. All I know is that I should keep asking my father about her (he always says he doesn't remember much), because I want to know more. Until then, I don't think much and let my hands do the work, to let the creativity flow from the past to the present and hopefully into the future.

The Way We Were..and Still Are?

2008-09-30T13:54:00.004+02:00

picture by Jacob Olie in 1894

Today I cycled through a street and smelled fish being fried. It smelled really good! But it got me thinking and also becoming a bit nostalgic. I wondered if that smell will still be around in 50 years and what we are missing out on now that has disappeared. What did it smell like on the street when there were still so many small businesses, everything done by hand? It wasn't all nice I suppose, without a proper sewer system or regular trash pickups. ;-)
I have a book on the way upper class people lived here in the Netherlands around 1900, and it fascinates me greatly. I think I've read that book at least 3 times now, just because I'm so interested in what these people did, and how they lived. It's also surprising some things are still the same today, over 100 years later. Also a lot of the things simple living concentrates on has roots in those days, when mondays were for washing and fridays for baking, and all the things that needed to get done in between. When we go out on a Sunday and the weather's nice, there are so many people like us, just taking a stroll. I've seen pictures of Amsterdam in the early 1900's where there were many people doing the same, enjoying the weather. They were just dressed differently, but they saw a lot of the same things we see today: buildings, a clear sky, falling leafs, birds. They heard people talk, children laugh, a dog barking. Back then, there were also worries about health, money and the way they believed the world would come to an end at that time.
Isn't it comforting to know that although we all believe time goes by so fast, it really doesn't? There is still so much that hasn't changed a whole lot. I hope my children will see the same things I see now, and what others before me have seen, the way they always were and hopefully always will be.

The Either/Or Trick

2008-09-29T11:41:00.003+02:00

I've always been interested in the way humans live, how they make decisions and how their mind works in general. I've studied psychology, but quit (not my proudest moment) when I found out how much statistics and number-crunching it actually involved and failed the proper exam.
But what fascinates me lately is how easy us humans can get stuck in our thinking. How is it possible to NOT see something that is right in front of us? And why do so many of us get sucked into the paralyzing either/or way of thinking? If you just change that perspective, ideas start flowing!
I have no answers on why people do this, but I do know that when I discovered how common this is and that I do it too, it has brought so many inspiring moments for me. Let's say you have a big wish like me, to once own a home with a veranda, just so you can sit there on a long summer night with a cup of tea looking around and enjoying whatever you see. Here in Holland, a veranda or porch is not common. There's a house near where we live that has it, it's really my dreamhouse. But instead of walking past and dreaming it will one day be for sale (and at an affordable price, which is totally not going to happen!) why don't I come up with a different angle? It doesn't have to be "I have to either become a millionaire to own a home with a veranda to make this happen, or forget this will ever come true for me. Why not look for a way to be able to sit on a veranda on a long summer night, for once or twice instead of hoping I will one day OWN a veranda to sit on it? Would I be satisfied with the one-time experience alone? Isn't it just like decluttering: you don't have to own it to enjoy it? I think so, actually.
This is just such a simple trick and it really gets my thinking going, because it's so exciting to apply it to all my wishes or projects I'm thinking of doing in the future.
Try it, it's really a lot of fun and it can make things that once looked unattainable suddenly a whole lot more realistic.

The Bra Thing

2008-09-26T13:38:00.003+02:00

So in an attempt to become more honest in blogging, I'd like to present a problem I have been struggling with since I was a teenager: I hate bras. I can't stand the feeling of them. I'm talking about the classic underwired cups & straps thing.
This morning I went out sans children to try and find me a pair that wouldn't drive me mad with the tight, itching and poking feelings a classic bra always gives me. No luck. I've tried on numerous pairs at a department store that sells so many brands it makes my head spin, but I hated all of them. I know I had the right size, but the feeling made me almost cry. So I left without a bra. Back to my old ones, who are definitely looking sad and need replacement asap. I remember back in highschool, I used to hide the bra in my bag and went into the toilet before gym class to put it on. Sometimes I wonder: why do I even need to wear one? Why do I listen to those shows on tv that tell you to get a good one in the right size (thanks Oprah!)? Is wearing a bra really necessary, or is it just a case of "you're supposed to..." and noone really even knows why? Of course we're all free to do what we want, and for some sizes I can understand why it feels better if you have maximum support, but if it's just "the right thing to do", then I shouldn't if I don't want to.
I love Germain Greer for once saying "bras are a ludicrous invention". Restraining (the bossom), another word I found in the history of brassieres. The word alone makes me shiver.
I don't know, I saw with my own eyes in that dressing room this morning it looks really nice under a shirt, it almost makes my boobs look round and perfect. I know it helps keep "the girls" in their "right" spot and shape. But the moment I start moving I feel it everywhere and I just want one thing: to.get.it.off.NOW!!!
See, told you I was a hippie. ;-)

The Bad Blog

2008-09-25T14:11:00.003+02:00

I really love blogging, and reading others. It inspires me to see how other people live, what they do, see their crafts projects and what they enjoy. Of course we all choose things we are interested in, so I guess we all tend to stick within our own circle.
And can I make a confession? I get sooooo tired sometimes of blogs I read (not necessarily on my readlist here) and how positive they are. Yes, I know this sounds weird. But I've had this problem with blogs before I ever had one myself and I have found myself falling into the same trap while writing. It's all so happy and wonderful, and the family is great and I love everything I do and we love our kids so much all the time, etcetera. Most of the time I enjoy reading it, but there are days when it makes me really suspicious and annoys me a great deal.
But then I sit down myself and go through my mental list of inspiration, and I wonder: shall I write today about how I snapped at my 20 month old son because he didn't listen and opened the DVD player for 100th time and broke off a piece? Shall I share how I sometimes hate being a mother and how many times I've thought about going back to a paid job? *sigh and long pause* Naaaaah, let's just stick with another post on the environment. So I do it too. I'm no idiot, I know people aren't interested in problems or negativity. They come to the computer to relax a bit and find inspiration, not to read about someone else with the same problems. We all blog to have other people reading it, or else we would have kept a diary. So I suppose most bloggers blog about what they want to share, a conscious decision and choice. And you can never get a full idea of one's life through 4 pictures and a short story every day, I know.
But instead of trying to find a depressing blog I wish every happy mama blog would post a true version of one's day sometimes, one in which a sewing project fails miserably, she kicks the dog and hates her kids and has an enormous bad hairday, and posts about it all, with pictures to prove it.
Note to self: take your own advice, Christine! ;-)

The Toadstool and The Cupcakes

2008-09-24T20:29:00.006+02:00

I finally finished the toadstool cushion I was working on yesterday. It turned out really well, I think. I planned on saving it for my to-open-someday Etsy shop, but it quickly became an interesting object to throw around and after son wiped his face with it it got stained, so I guess the toadstool is staying. :-)

I just crocheted a simple circle with wool. Cut the same shape from fabric I still had from another project. Sewed on circles of felt on the machine, stitched the back and front together and filled it up. I closed the opening by hand. That's it! I'm thinking of doing another one made out of fabric entirely.

So when I had half an hour later in the day I also made up these raw cupcakes. They're partly the Black Forest cake I made a few weeks ago, and partly the raw strawberry cake from an older post. They were delicious yesterday, but when I presented them to a friend this morning the bottom layer had gotten a bit too soggy. Oh well, it still tasted good!

I hope tomorrow will bring more inspiration to write!

The Way The Cookie Crumbles

2008-09-23T12:33:00.004+02:00

We watched a documentary about peak oil last night. At first it really depressed me, to the point where I thought about walking away because it made me so sad.
Towards the end the documentary got more positive and they talked about solutions. What really gave me hope again were a few things:
1. change is not going to happen through the big companies and people who are making money now.
2. even though governments are sleeping and not doing anything, "regular folks" all over the world are working on alternatives.

Isn't that the revolution from my and Down to Earth's earlier posts? Those people working in their garage or coming up with ideas, not because they want to get rich but because they believe. Believe in change and that it can be done, even if the government doesn't do anything about it. So despite sleeping leaders, the people are coming up with new ways to live, new ways to make energy! Yes... isn't that great!

So perhaps my children will one day live in a world where fossil fuel is no longer the main source of energy! Right now, those children don't know about any of this. They exist in a world where mama putting green food coloring in the cookie dough is the most exciting thing! And eating them afterwards, of course. :-)

The Fun Things

2008-09-22T11:40:00.004+02:00

You know what I really like? Unexpected and fun things. Like stepping out of your front door and seeing "goodmorning!" written in chalk on your doorstep by your neighbour. Or putting on a pair of shoes and finding a small robot in there. A ball in the washing machine. A dinosaur and a doll left riding together in a car, long after everybody went to bed.
A trail of hearts on the sidewalk from the corner all the way to the front door of a little girl who lives across the street.
Finding an old clothes mannequin and letting it "walk" back and forth in front of the window with me hidden so it looks almost real. :-)
Son laying down on the pavement, telling us he's going to sleep and then drawing around him with chalk to leave his silhouet.
Watching the kids throwing autumn leaves up in the air. Surprising husband with something he didn't expect!
Throwing candy in a wrapper in the mailbox at our neighbours' place when they aren't home without a note so they'll wonder who left it for them. Finding a bunch of flowers in return without a note either.
Finding out your brother says exactly the same thing about the same subject the day after you've said it exactly the same way.
It's really those things that make any day fun, and that give you a great feeling when you think back later. Perhaps we should all try to do at least one little fun thing every day! :-)

The Hand That Rocks The Cradle....

2008-09-18T13:40:00.005+02:00

Sometimes when I meet other women, I get so impressed with "us". There are so many truely great women out there, doing their thing, caring for their family and themselves, being all things at once and still doing a great job.
Women are never too afraid to go straight ahead through difficult times, they know how to make do with less and still have everybody enjoy it. They nurse their children, love their husbands, connect with their family, go out with friends and do it all with a huge amount of strength.
They come up with great ideas and do it, make plans and set up businesses for themselves so they can work from home. So creative and inspiring!
Women really hold up this world, and I think I know why. Because women always feel and know they are part of something bigger, a circle in which we all hold hands and are one, linked to the past, present and future.
I am so proud to be one. :-)

The Wednesday How-to: Savings

2008-09-17T13:19:00.005+02:00

Over time, my husband came up with this system. It works really well since we do online banking and you can transfer money from one account to the other without having to wait until the next day.
Whenever we get husband's salary, all the bills we have at that moment and the mortgage gets paid. All that's left goes into our savings account, except for a small amount for groceries and upcoming automatic payments etc. The money stays in that account until we need some, and then one of us (usually husband) transfers some to our normal account. That way, if we do have anything left at the end of the month, it becomes money saved and not a temptation to spend. And the money generates extra interest, even if it only has been on our savings account for a few days. It does add up at the end of the year!
This system does require a daily check of what you have spent and how much is left and you need to be on top of your finances so no unexpected bills end up unpaid.

The Things You Do For You

2008-09-16T13:20:00.004+02:00

I saw a psychology program on tv, it was about happiness. The psychologist on the show said research showed that people who don't have kids are happier than those who do. Isn't that interesting? Although everybody always says their kids have made their lives so much more complete and everything, it doesn't add to personal happiness! Apparently, people without children have more time to spend on themselves, which adds to their happiness. I think this makes sense. We've all either been or seen the mother who feels depleted simply because there isn't enough time for herself.
I think especially when you're a stay-at-home mother (like I am), it can happen that you forget about yourself. Not for everybody and not all the time, but I've certainly had times where I didn't think of anything beyond the daily tasks and caring for the small people. It really started to work against me after a while. It made me somewhat resentful and grumpy. When I was working outside of the home, I felt like I had to keep 100 balls up in the air, which was very hard but my own identity or what I loved to do was never totally in the background.
Now I like thinking of what I want to do once my kids don't need me as much as they do now, for example when they're both in school. I like making plans about what I want to do and thinking of different options. Even just thinking about it makes me feel good about myself, and keeps reminding me I'm so much more than "just" a mother.
I don't think I'm setting a good example for my kids if I never took time for myself, or never told them I can't play right now because I'm doing something else. Perhaps that's why I don't like authoritive parenting, I don't like the distance it can create. I want my children to really see who I am, as a person with all my faults and goodness, just as I want to know them. It is my firm belief we are all here on this earth with an obligation to ourselves and each other to become the best person we can be. I hope I can lead by example for my children.

A Day in My Life - September

2008-09-15T10:30:00.002+02:00

I am posting this today, but the day described was yesterday, the 14th. For a complete list of other who participate in describing their day, go to Jenny's blog here.

My son woke me up around 5:20. Unfortunately, I couldn't get him back to sleep. He layed down with me or jumped up and down on me and his father until daughter came into the bedroom around 6:30. We had breakfast and showered, got dressed. We wanted to go to a flea market and since it was sunny and nice outside, we wanted to get there early.
We arrived at the flea market around 9:30. Daughter has been able to walk instead of riding in the stroller lately. She used to grab everything she saw or knock things over, so that wasn't safe for her (or us, or the vendors) but now she's doing so well she can walk herself. She talks to us about she's going to look for and we give her some small change. She does so well! We walked around and she wanted to see everything. Son was in the Ergo on my back, and he didn't really like it. He kept yeling: "walk myself! walk myself!" That was hard, he really can't do that yet. It must feel unfair to him, since he sees his sister walk around and touch things.
We bought a few things and left around 11:15.
Son fell asleep in the car, he was really tired because he was up so early. When we got home around 12:00, I was able to transfer him to his bed sleeping. Since daughter was also really tired she wanted to take a nap. Both kids in bed and sleeping at the same time meant Mom and Dad could catch some ZZZZZ's too! I really needed it, waking up so early is really hard for me.
When we woke up from our nap, it was 13:30. We were all so hungry! We ate grilled cheese sandwiches after getting dressed again. Since the weather was still so nice, we left on the bike to go to a playground nearby. It has a lot of things to play on, it's a really nice ride to get there. The kids played there until daughter discovered a huge puddle. Luckily both kids had their Crocs on, so with rolled up trousers they could walk around. But, both fell on their butts! All their clothes were soaked! We had to leave early because of that.
When we got home it was 16:00. The kids had a bath, they got a little bit cold on the bike with wet clothes. After their bath, I started diner and they watched some tv. Husband was on the computer, we changed places after a while when the food was cooking.
At 17:30, we had diner. This is quite early for us, but once in a while it's nice to do that. We ate mashed potatoes, sauerkraut and something I think is typical Dutch (but I'm not sure!): rookworst. It's a saucage that's smoked and heated in hot water. We don't eat meat in general, but this was the first time I saw them in the supermarket again, which means fall is coming, so I couldn't resist. The first couple of bites didn't taste good to me, after that it got better but I could have done without. The kids and husband loved it though!
We cleared the table and did dishes, the kids ran around and jumped on the sofa. Daughter almost strangled son with a jumping rope, so the rope was banned to the closet. To let the kids do something else besides running into each other, we let them help drying a few things. We told them if they helped we could have a little ice cream. :-)
So we had the ice cream, when we were done it was 18:30. I went outside to walk the dog, husband and kids listened to some music and a few videos on the computer. At 19:00 son went to bed. He's doing really well falling asleep on his own lately, that's a relief. I used to sit with him for at least 20-30 minutes.
Daughter also went to sleep after reading a bit in bed. With that done, it was 19:40. I polished 2 pair of shoes and thought of my dad who used to polish his shoes very often when I was a child. He used to say it keeps shoes in good shape so you can enjoy them longer. He's right! I have shoes that still look nice after many years because I polish them regularly and have those shape-things (are they called spanners in English too?) in them.
I made coffee for husband and myself and we watched some tv. I crocheted, I'm making a cushion. Also spent some time on the computer. Around 22:15 we put things away, husband walked the dog again. I took food out of the freezer for the dog. Brushed teeth, husband checked on daughter and it was lights out. I think I fell asleep almost immediately, despite the nap I had. :-)

The Weirdness That Is Me

2008-09-12T13:36:00.006+02:00

My loveaffair with these boots began almost 1 year ago. The moment I saw them, I loved them. The white swirls that look like flames, the combination with the red. They are never in the closet, but out where I can see them, because I just love looking at them. I don't even wear them that often, but I can't see myself ever getting rid of them. They're just IT for me, and normally I don't even like red. They must be horrible to some people, but oh my, how I love these boots!

So to honor the curiosity we all have about other people, some more fun and weird facts about me:
- I loooooove nail polish. I have over a 100 bottles (probably even a lot more than 100). When there's a new and special color out, I just have to have it! I usually do my nails once a week and change color then.
- I hate hairstyling products. I think they make the hair look dirty and I do NOT like how that looks. On anyone. I also hate how it feels on my own hair. Doesn't matter whether it's foam, gel or wax, it's all nasty stuff to me.
- I read gossip sites. Yes, I mean Perez and those alike. The sarcasm, the gossip and the pictures, I love it!
- My favorite movies are Almost Famous, Big Fish and The Departed. There are more but these 3 pop up first.
- I laugh at my own jokes sometimes. This is pathetic, I know.
- When my husband asked me the other day what my last meal would be, I said: french fries with champagne and hazelnut-merengue-cake as dessert.
- I'm 34 and still worry sometimes people don't like me and I don't know about it.
- I have a terrible fear of spiders. Absolute panic when I spot one, which I can't let my kids notice. Just last week I was in the tub when suddenly a spider floated past me. I have no clue where it came from and I think I broke the get-out-of-the-tub-quickly record that day. I couldn't scream because the kids were asleep, don't know how but I managed to keep quiet. :-)
- I'm obsessed with soft clothes. I have lots of clothes made out of velours, because I love how that feels. I remember having a blue velours sweater as a child and I wore it so much, it became ratty and old so my mom threw it away.
- I still have a cuddle blanket in my bed (in the picture, it's by my pillow on the left). It's actually a receiving blanket from when my daughter was born, I like to move it around through my fingers when I go to sleep. Somewhere between ages 21 and 30 it went away for a while, but now it's back again. When my daughter watches Barney and sees Baby Bob with her little blanket, she always says: "look mama, she has a blanket, just like you!". Sometimes she will go to the bedroom, comes back with the blanket, puts it on my lap and says "here". I guess she feels I need it at that moment, lol. :-)

Well, enough embarassing facts for today. Have a great weekend!

The Left and The Right

2008-09-11T12:11:00.003+02:00

A while ago, I asked my parents (65 & 66), if they feel their generation are spenders who don't really care much about the environment or "the big picture". I know this is a very black/white question, but I wanted to spark a discussion.
Their response was this: they feel that going on vacation 6 months a year, having a big house and a new car every couple of years, not growing your own food and buying new instead of secondhand, is their right after working so hard for all those years. They don't know for how long they will have their health, and because they're in the autumn of their years (as Frank Sinatra would put it) they want to enjoy life to the fullest.
They have been frugal for many years when they started out as a family with young children, and times were rough in the '80s too. They're glad they don't have to work in the garden anymore because it's so much work. There are the same chances now for young people and even more than when they were in their late '20s, early '30s. "They" will figure things out (who are "they"? The government? Scientists? Big companies? I forgot to ask.) through things like nuclear energy. Nothing is as bad as it seems, there have been stories about the world coming to an end since the beginning of times and it never came true. Things like the food bank only create dependancy instead of helping people get off their *ss and do something. They've paid taxes for years just so they can enjoy it now.

So, as much as I respect my parents and understand some of their points, I also know they are not alone in this opinion and have heard others voicing the same. I'm not sure what to make of it. On the one hand I feel it's kind of selfish. Taking out what you've put in and not thinking beyond yourself. On the other I know how hard my father worked and I would feel bad for him if he couldn't do what he wanted to do out of a sense of obligation to the world, or something like that. But what did they work so hard for? To get more, bigger and better? I suppose my parents are right winged, whereas I am definitely left. It's just hard to understand sometimes, I thought everybody who was young in the sixties shared the same ideals. :-) I saw an interview with a sociologist on tv a few weeks ago, and he said that people on the right end of the spectrum always talk about people on the left as if it's an ideology or a belief and they are fact-of-the-matter. It really clicked for me, I think he's right! Whenever I hear my father talk about things like food banks creating dependancy and how everybody should take care of themselves, I almost feel like a fool believing what I do.
It's very interesting all this, I hope I can talk about it some more when my parents come back from their vacation. :-)

The Wednesday How-to: Make Tomato Sauce

2008-09-10T12:19:00.003+02:00

This is just the best tomato sauce I've tasted. It's made up out of several recipes I found online, I really want to give credit where credit's due, but I simply cannot remember where I found it all. I've made this sauce so many times it gets new ingredients or things left out all the time.
The sauce can be used in hot or cold dishes or as more of a dressing or raw food ingredient.

You will need:
- 3 large tomatoes chopped coarsely
- 3 medium sized sun-dried tomatoes
- a little bit of sugar, maple syrup or agave nectar
- salt & pepper
- 3 tablespoons of pine nuts
- some fresh basil and oregano leaves (or dried about a teaspoon)
- garlic (I sometimes leave this out when I don't feel like being smelly the next day, lol)

If you're not vegan or eat raw, you can also put in Parmesan which makes it taste even better, a bit like red pesto. Since I usually don't have this in the house it's only for special occasions here. When we have some I also use two tablespoons of sour cream, greek yoghurt, mascarpone or ricotta sometimes.

You toss it all into a blender, foodprocessor or bowl & hand/stick blender. Pulse until it becomes smooth. If you leave it alone for a bit, the water/juice and sauce separates itself, you can either stir it back in or take it out to make the sauce more smooth.
We use this as a sauce for pasta or lasagna, on a pizza or with vegetables. I usually make a big batch and put some in the freezer.

The Long Term

2008-09-09T13:21:00.003+02:00

There were bits of good news and some bad in the media yesterday. First, there was the good news that Dutch people have used less water since 2003, almost 7% less. That is good news! I'm still surprised when I see people doing dishes or brushing teeth under a running tap. I saw this piece on tv years ago about people in Africa having to walk miles and miles for one small bucket of fresh water, and ever since I just can't bear to spoil water if I don't have to. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one, when it's really pouring with rain outside I regularly see people come out with an umbrella and a bottle of car shampoo. They use the rain to wash their car instead of rolling out a hose or buckets of tapwater. :-)
Bad news was that approximately 60.000 families might get into trouble the coming years because banks have given them too high of a loan (mortgage) 5 years ago, when interest was at an all-time low. Some could lend as much as up to 9 times their annual income back then. After 5 years (which is now for a large group) the interest goes up because it's a different economy now and of course this means monthly costs rise as well. This might mean for some the monthly cost of the mortgage will double! For some people it was probably the only chance to ever own a home back then, but it could mean they will lose the house now. Double of what you paid before is impossible for a lot of people. I assume more and more people will get interested in being frugal, because they have no other choice.
It's a really scary thought: if something unexpected happens, like jobloss or a divorce, and the interest going up, the whole construction falls apart and many people get into trouble. That's why saving money and keeping monthly costs down is so important. I think money experts advice to have at least 6 months wages in a savings account. That way you have a buffer for an unexpected situation.
And I think this whole mortage thing is an example of how a lot of people handle money: they don't think about the long term, just of today or perhaps tomorrow. Even a seemingly small decision like where you get groceries will either save or cost money, which adds up over 1 year or more. I think whenever we feel like treating ourselves, or spend money on a want (rather than a need), we should stop and think about the long term. It's not always the most fun, but peace of mind and money in the bank feels much much better in the long run.

The Cake and the House

2008-09-08T11:16:00.006+02:00

Saturday I made a raw cake to take to a potluck. It was a huge success!! Everybody loved it. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I loved it too. It tasted like a "real" cake, sweet and rich and just yummy.
It's called the Black Forest Cherry Cake, you can find the recipe here.
This is what the cake looked like before I cut it:

Turned out quite well, if I say so myself. :-)
I also found this at the flea market yesterday (it was 50 cents):

It caught my eye immediately when I walked past it, I love little houses like this. It's my secret (well, not so secret anymore now) to own a home like that one day when I grow up. So I bought it, not quite sure yet what to do with it. I thought it was a napkin holder but we don't use paper napkins, so that was out. Then I had a bright moment: it can hold mail or unpaid bills!! So that was just perfect.
Here it is now, and I can look at it all day:

So that was basically what we did this weekend, the potluck and a flea market. Today husband is back to work, so we're on our own again. Time to get back into our regular daily life again!

The Goals in Life

2008-09-05T11:39:00.003+02:00

Last night husband and I got into a long talk about life and what we want for ourselves. At first I thought it would turn into one of those "stay-at-home-mother doesn't contribute financially" talks, but as we talked, we rediscovered again we are still on the same page about what we want for our family. I think this whole Simple Living thing is really important to help working towards our goal (which I will talk about some other time). Knowing why we are doing this, is what motivates us greatly. I think once our goal is achieved we will still continue to do what we do, but right now we are using it for saving money as much as we can, having a standard of living that reflects our values, and choosing time together over money/career. I suppose the reasons behind simple living can be different for everybody, but for us this is it. It's hard though, because we live in a big city. All around us there's money oriented people, career minded folks, shops that try to lure you in to come spend, events that charge entryfees. People ask when you're moving to a bigger place because with two kids and a dog, our apartment must be too small! Most days we feel strong, we're able to withstand all these things and know what we are doing. Other days I personally feel like a cheapskate, a weirdo and like I'm depriving my kids of a lifestyle like so many have out here.
So setting a goal for yourself and your family really is a good thing, but it took us years to figure it out. And of course it's not static. We can adjust as we go along. It's good to check in with each other once in a while and know it still feels right to both of us. Weird or not. ;-)

The Ageless Mind

2008-09-04T13:14:00.004+02:00

Age. What does it say? Do you feel old or young? Do you have certain rules you must follow because you are a certain age? Is growing old scary or interesting and fun?
A long time ago, my grandmother had to stop driving on doctor's orders and she couldn't paint anymore. It saddened and frustrated her a great deal. She said to me: "you know, my mind wants to but my body won't." It made me think and realize that we all change shape on the outside, but not so much on the inside. I've grown older (and hopefully wiser) but still feel the same on the inside, in the core of me, so to speak. So it's kind of scary to realize one day I will still feel like I do now, but in the body of an 80 year old. Of course you grow into that phase gradually, but don't we all have that once in a while, where you catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror or a window and go: *gasp* "that's me!" As if your mind wakes up for a moment and catches up with your body. I think it's safe to say some people never have that moment and it shows -most of the time- in their wardrobe or hairstyle.
It has happened to me a few times now, where I really really liked something but put it back because I felt it would look "too young" on me. Isn't that the first sign of getting old? Lol.
So lately I've been sporting this:

(It's OPI Mod about Brights Greenwich Village)

Green is not a standard nailpolish color, so I got quite a few comments on this. Not sure if the commentators were bothered by my age, but I don't think so. I feel it's a fun color and makes me happy looking at it.
I think today in 2008, age is really not about the numbers, and it shouldn't let anyone define themselves. I think it's best to just take what you have learned over the course of your life and show that to the world from the inside out, through eyes, smile and spirit, and I'm really sure it looks good on anyone!

The Wednesday How-to: Stop Spending

2008-09-03T13:54:00.002+02:00

Once upon a time, there was a girl who knew nothing about money. Her parents gave her no allowance, bought all her clothes and paid for whatever her heart desired. Her father always told her: don't talk about money, it's either there or it isn't. So they never talked about money and never told her there wasn't any. When she turned 16, her parents paid for the "big gift on wheels" and when her father would drop her off somewhere he would ask: "do you need some money?" (she would always say yes).
The girl grew up and left home to live on her own as a student. She got a monthly sum of money from her parents to pay rent and expenses, got out a student loan too.
She would always spend everything to the last cent every month.
Then she got a good job, made nice money and met her future husband. Together, they lived the life of luxury, shopping almost every weekend buying whatever they felt like buying and eating takeout several times a week. They shopped for groceries almost every day and just threw out anything in the fridge if they didn't feel like eating it.
They bought a house and a few months after moving in, the girl lost her job. All of a sudden there was a budget needed, the security of having money come in was gone.
She found another job and a daughter was born. After trying to balance work and mothering (and failing to make that work) she quit her job and became a stay at home mother. After living through so many changes in salary (or none at all) and becoming more and more aware of spending they were able to make it work with just one income. I think nowadays, the girl and her husband have a healthier financial situation than ever before.
So how do you stop spending?
There are lots and lots of resources about that, and I think currently there are some great books out on that subject. I can only talk from my own experience and this is what helped me:
- Live as though you don't have any money. This may not work for everybody, but I use this all the time. I trick myself. Whenever I think of buying something, I tell myself I don't have enough money. Of course I don't do this all the time, but very regularly and it really works.
- Telling yourself to wait. I tell myself I have to wait at least 2 days and if I still feel I want it, I might buy it. I spend the waiting days looking online at alternatives or cheaper versions.
- Magazines. I allow myself 2 magazines every month because I really really enjoy it. I also use it to look at clothes and admire them. I might not want them for myself, but use it as inspiration for shopping thrift or just nice to look at the outfits.
- Admire. I love looking at people. On the street, online, in magazines. I enjoy seeing what they wear and how they do things. Whenever I see someone with really cool clothes, shoes, whatever, I admire it and know it looks really hot on them and just leave it at that. A wise friend once said: "you don't have to own it to admire it and love it". So true! I've written this before, I know, but it's so true for me.
- Live with a really frugal person. Hah. My husband can really kill any fun I might have scheming a purchase. Works really well, not so good for the mood sometimes.
One time I bought new shoes and he said: "why did you buy them now when they'll be on sale in a few weeks time?" Of course this was after the purchase but he will say things like that before I buy too and it always makes me walk away from an item. :-)
- Buy what you really really love. Whenever I see something and my heart makes a jump, I know that's the right thing. I've never regretted buying anything that made my heart jump. Any other time it could be a possible waste of money.
- Thrift. When I started thrifting, seeing what people would sell secondhand for little next to nothing made me think that spending the money in a shop was such a waste, because I might find it at a flea market for so much less! For example, I really wanted the Ugg booties for my daughter but thought I might see them someday at a flea market. I did, and paid 2 euros for it. Of course they were worn but the 2 euros was nothing compared to 50 new. It does take some waiting but the wish gets granted eventually. :-)

So there's my two cents (ha) on how to stop spending. Hope this helps!